IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
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Electric cars are well-known for their little impact on the environment and
therefore
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 some might assume that they ought to substitute all combustible vehicles. Personally, I agree with the statement but feel that one main factor, which is related to the practical obstacle, is worth mentioning in
this
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 essay. Indisputably, traditional automobiles have a detrimental impact on global warming, as they create more than 10% of the total carbon emission which is released into the atmosphere. Certainly, if we do not start regulating and restricting the amount of release, the existence of humans in the future will be questionable.
In addition
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, many already suffer from diseases like asthma, which was
also
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 contributed by air pollution. In light of
this
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, new alternative cars would render substantial help and make a big difference.
Although
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advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of e-cars are undoubtedly effective when it comes to functionality there is one hurdle, which needs to be overcome. Autos of residents in developed countries can easily be replaced as the majority can afford to purchase a new property
due to
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 high incomes. At the same time in third-world countries,
such
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 as Guinea, the average revenue per month is $280 and the cost for an electromobile is $50.000, which makes them inconceivable.
This
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 is why I firmly believe that before compelling rigorous restrictions, authorities are obligated to make them affordable for everyone. In conclusion, advancements in technology granted an array of opportunities to tackle the environmental and health issues which are directly related to transport,
that is
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 powered with petrol, gas or diesel.
However
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, from my perspective reachability should be taken into account to achieve complete utility.
Submitted by zhanerkenakhshbek on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, strive to include a wider range of specific examples and statistics related to the benefits and implications of replacing fossil fuel cars with electric vehicles. This will strengthen your argument and make your response more complete.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay shows a good logical structure, you can enhance cohesion by more effectively linking your ideas with a wider range of linking words. For instance, consider contrasting phrases or consequence connectors to better demonstrate the relationship between points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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