Some people think celebrities earn too much money Do you agree or disagre

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Some people think
celebrities
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earn too much
money
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. Do you agree or disagree? In today’s world,
celebrities
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such
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as actors, musicians, and athletes earn millions of dollars every year. Some people believe that they are paid far too much for what they do. Personally, I partly agree with
this
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view because,
although
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their work is valuable in some ways, the huge amount of
money
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they receive is not always fair compared to other important jobs. On the one hand, it is understandable why
celebrities
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earn a lot. First of all, they often work hard to develop their skills, face a lot of pressure from the public, and sometimes sacrifice their private life.
Moreover
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, the entertainment industry earns billions of dollars worldwide, and
celebrities
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play a big role in attracting audiences.
For instance
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, a famous actor can make a movie more successful just by being in it. In
this
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sense, they help generate
money
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and deserve a good income.
On the other hand
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, the problem is the huge difference in salaries between
celebrities
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and other important professionals. Jobs like teachers, doctors, firefighters, and scientists often involve long hours and serve essential roles in society, but they earn much less.
For example
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, a doctor who saves lives every day may earn only a small part of what a famous singer makes in one concert.
This
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clearly shows that society sometimes values entertainment more than real contributions. In conclusion,
while
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celebrities
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may deserve to earn well for their talents and efforts, I believe that the amount of
money
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they receive is often too high compared to people in other important fields.
Therefore
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, there should be a better balance in how different professions are rewarded.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear overview of your opinion on the topic, which is great. However, you could enhance it by providing a more explicit outline of the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, using paragraphs effectively. However, consider employing linking words such as 'furthermore' or 'consequently' to improve the flow between sentences and ideas.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, you could strengthen your argument by including more diverse examples or evidence to support your views further.
content
Your essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the merits of celebrity earnings while also expressing concern about the disparity in salaries.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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