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Band 7.5

Some university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
Some university students are interested in learning about various
subjects
in addition
 to their primary
subjects
,
whereas
 others think it is crucial to focus on their major
subjects
 and allocate their time and attention in order to achieve their degree. In my opinion, learning about different
subjects
 may lead to increased job opportunities and broaden their knowledge.
To begin
 with, increasing job opportunities play a huge role in our society nowadays. Studying
further
 topics can broaden their horizons,
also
 possibly increasing their knowledge and learning about what people faced previously. All these factors lead to overcoming future mistakes and challenges which impact positively on their psychological well-being and mental health.
For example
, research has been conducted by Oxford University. If individuals learn about past challenging situations, these will influence significantly the progression of a human being. Focusing solely on main disciplines, and concentrating all efforts on a single subject allows students to develop a deep understanding which has a substantial effect on their chosen field, which is essential for becoming skilled at their profession,
such
 as being a doctor or dentist.
Moreover
, better academic performance could be seen by studying solo disciplines, which
also
 leads to high-quality degrees. Time efficiency is
also
 a crucial factor for being an expert in the field chosen. When allocating time for one subject and concluding, I totally believe being comprehensive about knowledge is the best choice for a sustainable life, which leads to enhanced problem-solving skills that will bring the maximum benefit to the community.
Submitted by alshaikhlimustafa56 on

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task achievement
Clarify and slightly expand your main points to add depth to your argument. For instance, you could elaborate more on the benefits of a broad education with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one to the next. Transition phrases can help make these connections smoother.
coherence cohesion
Include a more defined conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion in light of the discussion.
task achievement
You have done well in presenting both sides of the argument and have provided a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion.
task achievement
You have given some relevant examples to support your ideas, such as the Oxford University research example.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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