IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Your workplace does not have a carpark, and it is causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter Describe the problems this is causing Explain what benefits a car park would bring to the company Suggest a solution for the car park problem

#workplace #carpark #manager #car #park #company
Dear manager, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the parking issues I have encountered recently. Whenever I arrive, earlier or at peak time, there are no parking places available. Could you please consider if it is possible that our
company
 rent some parking area for employees? I would greatly appreciate your assistance with resolving
this
 issue.
To begin
 with, there are no parking lots near our
company
, even the nearest one still takes to 20-minute walk, which may cause some illegal parking because they need to be on time.
Additionally
, our
company
 is located in the suburbs, and there are no bus lines passing by, which causes significant inconvenience. I would like to suggest if our
company
 could rent a car park to resolve
this
 issue, the coworkers will devote themselves more to work because they have not need to be anxious about searching for a parking area or worried if they unexpectedly receive a fine ticket. I would greatly appreciate your assistance and kindness. I hope the problem can be resolved promptly and amicably. Sincere Regards, May
Submitted by aa0963178783 on

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complete response
You've done a good job describing the problems and suggesting a solution. For an even stronger response, consider further detailing the benefits that having a car park would bring to the company, such as improved employee productivity and morale.
single idea per paragraph
Your letter is generally well-structured. Make sure every paragraph has a clear primary idea and stays focused on that idea. This will make your arguments stand out even more.
suitable writing tone
You used polite and formal language throughout the letter, which is appropriate for addressing a manager.
logical structure
Your letter smoothly transitions between describing the issue, stating effects, and suggesting solutions.
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