In some countries today parents spend very little time with their children. Why is this the case? Who is affected more, children or parents?

Nowadays, in many nations,
parents
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dedicate less
time
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to their
children
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. In my opinion,
this
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issue stems from various factors like financial problems. I am
also
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convinced that
while
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both
parents
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and
children
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are impacted, the younger generation is more likely to suffer
due to
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their needs. It is my view that many
parents
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, especially in urban areas, have to work long hours to meet their financial needs.
Moreover
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, in most cases, both
parents
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are occupied with career responsibilities, so they have little energy or
time
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for their
children
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.
Additionally
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, technological distractions,
such
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as smartphones and social media, have become popular.
Hence
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, some
parents
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spend their leisure
time
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surfing the Internet rather than dedicating
time
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to their family. I
further
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believe that the consequences of
this
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trend are more destructive for
children
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than for
parents
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. It is a fact that the younger generation requires emotional support to have positive personal growth. A lack of parental involvement can lead to
behavioral
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behavioural
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issues, so they are more likely to commit crimes in the future.
In addition
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, teenagers, without proper supervision, may adopt negative habits and have poor academic performance. As a matter of fact,
according to
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an article published by Oxford University in 2020, teenagers who are neglected in their families are more exposed to social harm. In conclusion, financial pressures and hectic lifestyles have declined the
time
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parents
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spend with their
children
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. From my perspective,
children
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are more vulnerable to
this
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issue as they need parental care and emotional support to grow effectively.

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear argument, try to elaborate more on some points to provide a more comprehensive view of the issue. For instance, offering additional examples or discussing the impacts on parents might enhance your Task Response score.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using transitional phrases to enhance coherence, especially between the introduction, body, and conclusion.
logical structure
Your introduction clearly states the problem and your opinion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples and statistical evidence to support your argument, which strengthens your overall essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic pressures
  • work-life balance
  • cultural shifts
  • material success
  • neglected relationships
  • digital distractions
  • quality time
  • single-parent households
  • caregiver responsibilities
  • parental involvement
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