In some countries today parents spend very little time with their children. Why is this the case? Who is affected more, children or parents?

Nowadays, in many nations,

parents

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dedicate less

time

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to their

children

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. In my opinion,

this

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issue stems from various factors like financial problems. I am

also

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convinced that

while

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both

parents

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and

children

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are impacted, the younger generation is more likely to suffer

due to

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their needs. It is my view that many

parents

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, especially in urban areas, have to work long hours to meet their financial needs.

Moreover

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, in most cases, both

parents

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are occupied with career responsibilities, so they have little energy or

time

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for their

children

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Additionally

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, technological distractions,

such

Linking Words

as smartphones and social media, have become popular.

Hence

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, some

parents

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spend their leisure

time

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surfing the Internet rather than dedicating

time

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to their family. I

further

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believe that the consequences of

this

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trend are more destructive for

children

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than for

parents

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. It is a fact that the younger generation requires emotional support to have positive personal growth. A lack of parental involvement can lead to

behavioral

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behavioural

show examples

issues, so they are more likely to commit crimes in the future.

In addition

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, teenagers, without proper supervision, may adopt negative habits and have poor academic performance. As a matter of fact,

according to

Linking Words

an article published by Oxford University in 2020, teenagers who are neglected in their families are more exposed to social harm. In conclusion, financial pressures and hectic lifestyles have declined the

time

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parents

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spend with their

children

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. From my perspective,

children

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are more vulnerable to

this

Linking Words

issue as they need parental care and emotional support to grow effectively.

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task achievement

While your essay presents a clear argument, try to elaborate more on some points to provide a more comprehensive view of the issue. For instance, offering additional examples or discussing the impacts on parents might enhance your Task Response score.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using transitional phrases to enhance coherence, especially between the introduction, body, and conclusion.

logical structure

Your introduction clearly states the problem and your opinion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

relevant specific examples

You provided relevant examples and statistical evidence to support your argument, which strengthens your overall essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic pressures
work-life balance
cultural shifts
material success
neglected relationships
digital distractions
quality time
single-parent households
caregiver responsibilities
parental involvement

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In some countries today parents spend very little time with their children. Why is this the case? Who is affected more, children or parents?

Your opinion

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that the government should spend money to explore the outer space, while others believe that it’s a waste of public money. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking and helps people quit smoking, while others think that e-cigarettes are harmful and may lead to vapers becoming smokers in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion