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Band 5.5

The chart below shows information based on the quantity of sales for reading materials within 10 years period.

The chart below shows information based on the quantity of sales for reading materials within 10 years period.
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The chart below shows information based on the quantity of
sales
Use synonyms
 for reading materials within 10
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
. Looking
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
Linking Words
,it is readily apparent that,
sales
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 history
books
Use synonyms
 were observed as the highest indication in the whole
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for
category
Add an article
the category
a category
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
called
hobbies
Fix the agreement mistake
hobby
show examples
books
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
,the figure for
sales
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 history
books
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for approximately 5
copies
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 increased
countiniously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2006 at 8.
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
Afterward
Add a comma
Afterward,
show examples
 the amount reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the peak indicator
10
Change preposition
of 10
show examples
copies
Use synonyms
 in 2008,
whereas
Linking Words
 witnessed a decline to nearly 9 in 2010,
finally
Linking Words
amounted
Wrong verb form
amounting
show examples
 to precisely 9
copies
Use synonyms
 in 2012.Regards to entertainment
books
Use synonyms
,experienced a slight growth during all years,but
also
Linking Words
 once remained stable
amid
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2008 and 2010. In terms of
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art
books
Use synonyms
,over the
period
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 underwent a gradual rise,which began close to 2 in 2002,continued to 4
copies
Use synonyms
 until 2012,furthermost the
copies
Use synonyms
 were 4 in the ultimate
period
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 for
sales
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
hobbies
Fix the agreement mistake
hobby
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 as
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have mentioned before,were the lowest indication among all sectors.The
sales
Use synonyms
 never reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2
copies
Use synonyms
 until
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 timeframe between 2002 to 2012. I would be specific with the years in the introduction. "with a
10 year
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
, from 2002 to 2012". IELTS asks the candidate to include what where and when in the introduction, specifically. For the overview, just write "
Overall
Linking Words
,". Your phrase there was completely wrong, so just keep it simple to avoid any mistakes. Learn to use the passive voice accurately.
Sales
Use synonyms
 for history
books
Use synonyms
 "Accounted for..." no need for the "was".
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,
show examples
 an okay Just feels like you need more work on your vocab and grammar accuracy and a little bit
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 on the organization and presentation of the data.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, period, books, copies with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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