IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding.' To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is becoming evidently common
that
Correct word choice
for
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the
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apply
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big
news
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 companies
spend
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to spend
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 a handsome amount of money
for
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on
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 broadcasting international
news
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.
However
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, some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 are of the view that local
news
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 must be more prioritized as compared to international. But I personally reckon that it is more beneficial for the nation to get the
knowledge
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 about global issues. There are some authentic reasons behind
this
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 notion that will be discussed below. To commence with, it is the need of the time that people must have
knowledge
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 about their surroundings
as well as
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 about the
countries
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 around them, Because now,
due to
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 advancement in technology , globalization has become
the
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an
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 essential part of our lives.
Knowledge
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 about foreign affairs
help
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helps
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 people make important decisions about their lives and their economy.
For instance
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, nowadays online business has become the most epic trend , and
thus
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 by knowing about international
trends
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trends,
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 it becomes easier for the nations to focus on the production of particular products.
In addition
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 to
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 reason,
news
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 about elections especially in America has
influence
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an influence
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 on the whole world. So, with the help of international
gossips
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gossip
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, aired on
the
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apply
show examples
Television help politicians predict
about
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apply
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the future of their
countries
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. Since politics is very much dependent on international
news
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,
but
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apply
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it must be kept in mind that the
well being
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well-being
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 of
countries
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also
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depend
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depends
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 on getting
news
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 about each other.
For example
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 in the past when
countries
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 used to face
some
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apply
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natural
disaster
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disasters
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, most of the time
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 had to deal with that problem alone but now when
news
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 spread across the world, people join hands to help their fellow states.
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Consequently
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Consequently,
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 it
also
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 aids them financially. In my conclusion, it is a blessing that technology has made it possible that we can
reasily
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easily
readily
 get in touch with each other and
also
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 our in-depth
knowledge
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 is increased
dua
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due
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 to international and national
news
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 platforms.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your main arguments by organizing them into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should introduce a single main idea related to the topic.
task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.
language accuracy
Improve grammar and spelling, especially with commonly misspelled words such as 'people' and 'easily'. Also consider rephrasing sentences for better clarity.
content
The essay presents some relevant examples and points related to the importance of both local and international news.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediacy
  • relevance
  • community cohesion
  • investigative journalism
  • accountability
  • mismanagement
  • economic argument
  • globalization
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • well-rounded global perspective
What to do next:
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