IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People have different ways of escaping stress and difficult of modern life. Some read, some exercise, others work in their gardens. What do you think are the reasons for stress? What are the best ways of reducing stress?

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In the new era,
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to get stressed from different aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 life,and they have different ways that can help them feel better,some prefer a habit of
them
Correct pronoun usage
theirs
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 and
other
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others
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fond
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are fond
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 of doing chores around the house
. .
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.
...
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In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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 will discuss
about
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apply
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the causes and the solutions
of
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to
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 it.
For
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People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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 at
a
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apply
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large
companys
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companies
 or students,
they
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apply
show examples
 often get peer pressure which could
be transfer
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be transferred
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 into serious mental health illness.In order to keep up with
others
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 they have to
forced
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force
show examples
 themself to do more and it turns out bad if the result is not enough,the feeling of getting left behind
while
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others
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 are leveling up is tense and it
take
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takes
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 a
while
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 to get through.
Additionally
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, students or workers have to suffer from stricting from
others
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 like
parent
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parents
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 or
boss
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bosses
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.Parents want their
child
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children
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 to be the best
while
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companys
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companies
 seek perfection in their
works
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work
show examples
.
This
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 is an action of drowning
people
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 in thoughts,they cannot express their feelings which is pressuring them in negative thinking.
While
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this
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 could be dangerous for the health there are many ways to deal with it.For students, they find games as a way of escaping
the
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apply
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reality, in the digital world there is a feeling of freedom
which
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in which
show examples
 they get to be themself without words from
others
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.And for
adults
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adults,
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 they found it best to be around family,with the
raise
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rise
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 from members,it
boost
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boosts
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 the energy
up
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apply
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and
push
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pushes
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 away bad feelings. In general,stress comes from
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people
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people's
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 words that seem to be harmless but deal great damage to the inner self of the person getting it.
Eventhough
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Even though
 it seems horrific,
but
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apply
show examples
having freedom and
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 from
others
Use synonyms
 could help to beat it.

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states the main points you will discuss in the essay. A clear thesis statement can help guide the reader.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or evidence to support your claims about stress and the methods of coping, as this will enhance the clarity and impact of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily and improves logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. For instance, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be revised for better clarity.
task achievement
You address the topic by discussing both causes and solutions of stress, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
You show awareness of different groups affected by stress (students, workers), which adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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