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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Population in rural areas has been decreasing drastically
this
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 is because nowadays in many nations individuals are migrating to cities for better lifestyles. I believe
this
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 could have an adverse impact as it is overcrowding the metropolis. On the one hand, every individual wants to get the job opportunity they are qualified for, and it is hard for them to reach their potential being in the countryside as there are barely any opportunities available there;
therefore
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 they prefer to come out of their shells and move to big cities for better earnings. To explain, more than 95% of computer science graduates could get jobs in their specialities only if they move to developed areas as there are limited companies for
such
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 a stream.
However
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, the drastic migration of people from rural areas to cities not only makes them crowded but
also
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 results in increased prices of necessities. Job opportunities may be available for numerous individuals, but there are limited places to live, which causes increased rates of housing in the metropolis as well.
Besides
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, the population is leaving the countryside,
due to
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 which, agricultural industries are vanishing,
hence
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 the limitations in farm fresh food can be seen in the market;
for instance
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, reports say that the majority of farmers have sold their farms to companies and moved to other places for higher income. In conclusion,
although
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 people are moving to urban places for a better future,
this
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 migration is causing serious problems
such
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 as traffic and higher prices
as well as
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 the vanishing agricultural industries of nations

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task achievement
Consider expanding your ideas further and providing more depth in some points to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clarify the connection between your ideas more explicitly to improve coherence.
overall improvement
Try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall readability and interest in your writing.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points which enhances the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion which is essential for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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