In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In some cases, undergraduates attend their

university

Use synonyms

whilst living with their families,

on the other hand

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, some

students

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go to colleges abroad.

This

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essay will showcase how the benefits of living away from home during

university

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do not outweigh the disadvantages, which supports the predominant decision to depend on your family

while

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learning. There are indeed various benefits of living

elsewhere

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from home during your

university

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time that can include prioritizing your personal work and space, maturing, and learning to take care of

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

yourself

show examples

individually,

however

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, it is still not superior to the disadvantages when it comes to comparison. Not being dependent on family figures,

students

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often face financial struggles as they have to afford living places, flats or dorms.

This

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alone significantly adds up their daily cash outflow, demanding higher incomes weekly. It

also

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can be difficult to maintain social communications daily whilst living alone, undergraduates tend to socially distance themselves to shift all their focus to their studies.

Furthermore

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this

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unhealthy solitude can result in

students

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giving up on their personal lifestyle and health

due to

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not having close supervision of family members. The effects and results are evident to me as I have my own personal experience on

this

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matter. My older brother who currently is studying abroad faced many challenges overtime-alone, away from family. Facing the need to pay for his own dorm rent as the family could no longer financially provide, he had to work overtime which eventually consumed lots of his energy, resulting in fatigue and a potential decrease in leisure time. Living in a dorm alone , it is extremely difficult for natural introverts to socialize often as normally

students

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transitioning from their high school lives to

university

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lives do not learn the basic skills of efficient and formal communication.

Therefore

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students

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who face a whole new environment can feel shocked and overwhelmed, they

also

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face high risks of extreme weight measures as they lack proper active lifestyles, yet it can become much easier if we gain the specific people to support us throughout the journey and give advices when needed. College

students

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in some countries have the

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

of becoming more mature and independent whilst studying abroad without depending on their families back at home. Unfortunately, it still is not prior to the high risks of disadvantages which can include isolation, economic limits, unhealthy lifestyles and more.

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, having a supporting family by your side can make

students

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feel fulfilled in the most struggling era of their lives, ultimately inspiring them to overcome their difficulties and challenges together.

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task achievement

Consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging the benefits of living away from home more explicitly. This could enhance the completeness of your response.

coherence and cohesion

To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea, and that supporting points are well-organized. Each paragraph should ideally start with a topic sentence that encapsulates its main point.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance your writing style, which can also improve clarity and engagement.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, what specific independent life skills do students gain? How do these skills impact their future?

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion and attempts to explore the reasons behind your viewpoint, which is a crucial aspect of task achievement.

task achievement

You have included personal experiences, which add a nice touch to the response and make it more relatable and engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

426 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?