IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

When so people are starving to death in different parts of the world, is it justifiable for any government to spend huge amount of money over space exploration projects?

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The issue of whether
governments
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 should spend vast amounts of
money
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 on
space
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exploration
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while
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 millions of people are suffering from hunger and poverty is a highly debated one. Some argue that addressing the immediate needs of the population should take precedence,
while
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 others believe that
space
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exploration
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 can provide long-term benefits that justify the investment.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before concluding that,
although
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 immediate humanitarian issues are crucial,
space
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exploration
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 should
also
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 be a priority for
governments
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. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the
money
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 spent on
space
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exploration
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 could be better used to solve pressing global issues,
such
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 as hunger and poverty. Every year, millions of people, particularly in developing countries, die from starvation or lack of basic healthcare.
Governments
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 should focus their resources on providing food, clean water, healthcare, and education for their citizens. Critics argue that spending huge sums of
money
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 on
space
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 programs, which mainly benefit developed nations, is an irresponsible use of funds.
For example
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, the
money
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 spent on sending astronauts to the moon could have been used to address the most basic needs of people in dire situations.
On the other hand
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,
space
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exploration
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 offers potential long-term benefits that could help solve some of the challenges facing humanity. Advances in
space
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 technology often lead to innovations that have practical applications on Earth.
For instance
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, satellite technology, originally developed for
space
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 missions, is now essential for communication, weather forecasting, and disaster management.
In addition
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,
space
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exploration
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 has the potential to open up new frontiers for human survival. As Earth’s resources become more limited, the possibility of mining other planets or establishing human colonies in
space
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 could provide solutions to issues
such
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 as resource scarcity and overpopulation.
Furthermore
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,
space
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exploration
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 encourages international collaboration, fosters scientific discovery, and inspires future generations. The investments made in
space
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 programs are not just about immediate results; they
also
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 create opportunities for scientific breakthroughs and technological advancements that could benefit society as a whole. In conclusion,
while
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 it is vital for
governments
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 to address the urgent problems of poverty and hunger,
space
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exploration
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 should not be entirely disregarded.
Instead
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, a balanced approach is necessary, where
governments
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 allocate resources to meet the immediate needs of their citizens
while
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also
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 investing in
space
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 programs that could provide long-term benefits. Both areas are important, and the challenge lies in finding a way to prioritize them effectively.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument effectively. Consider elaborating a bit more on the balance between immediate needs and long-term benefits.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ensure that your transition between points is smoother in some areas to improve flow.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, which strengthen your argument. To enhance your essay further, try to incorporate more specific statistics or case studies related to space spending and its impacts.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic and thoroughly explores both perspectives with relevant points.
language
Language and vocabulary are used effectively to convey your ideas, showcasing a good command of the English language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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