IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many
people
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 say that the main reason why
people
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 are learning a foreign language is having
holiday
Add an article
a holiday
show examples
 or having
job
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a job
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 in
overseaas
Correct your spelling
overseas
.
While
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 others stated that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.
This
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 essay will elaborate on the reasons why
people
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 are willing to study other
languages
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,
such
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 as helping them to communicate with local
people
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 and giving them confidence. The writer believes that learning new things, especially other
state's
Fix the agreement mistake
states'
show examples
languages
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not a bad idea since it might be helpful in the future. First and foremost, based on the first perspective, many folks learn
languages
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 because they want to
travelling
Change the verb
travel
show examples
 or
working in
Wrong verb form
work
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 overseas.
According to
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 studies that I read, having abilities to speak in native
languages
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 will give benefits for some tourists or expatriates. To illustrate, the local
people
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 will not
taking
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take
be taking
show examples
advantages
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advantage
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them,
such
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 as giving fair
price
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prices
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 for rent or things. In a workplace, the expatriates will have good positions and promotions since they know
local
Correct article usage
the local
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languages
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. The citizens in that place
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also
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are also
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 happy when knowing some foreigners are willing to learn their
languages
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.
Moreover
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, from the journal that I learnt, learning is a part of human needs. Learning new things will boost
people
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's confidence, including foreign
languages
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. If we can speak more than one language, we will have faith that we can master other skills.
This
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 condition will not make us insecure since we know we have something to be proud of.
To sum up
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, learning is part of
human's
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human
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 life. We are learning because we have curiosity. Learning new
languages
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 will always give us benefits in
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 modern lives,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 we are not travelling or working in a foreign country.

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task achievement
Consider adding more diverse examples and evidence to support your points, particularly in the second paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences to signal the main idea of each paragraph. This will help improve the overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammatical accuracy and clarity to avoid minor errors that can detract from your points.
task achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well and reiterates your personal opinion effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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