IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More people now work overseas. What are the reasons why people are doing so? Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

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It is argued that many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer working outside their cities these days.
This
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 essay agrees that the advantages of
this
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 statement outweigh the disadvantages
due to
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 the self-development and financial freedom that are found in developed countries.
On the other hand
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, many
people
Use synonyms
 decide to start their careers by working far away.
This
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 can help them obtain personal growth and learn critical skills
such
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 as independence and flexibility.
This
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 is to say,
this
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 experience will force young men and women to gain knowledge
due to
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 the hard circumstances that they will be facing alone.
As a result
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, they will be able to build a better future for themselves from an early age and without the need for family help.
For example
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, paying the rent without parents’ support will help a person become more responsible and careful in managing money.
On the other hand
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, an important motive that drives many
people
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 to travel for work is the opportunity to earn higher income in big countries. Financial freedom plays an important part in everyone’s future.
As a result
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, most
people
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 who come from small cities aim to avoid poverty and live a peaceful life without money concerns.
In addition
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 to that, many workers will have the chance to invest and save money for their future in more developed cities.
For example
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, Saudi Arabia has witnessed an increase in population recently because of great job opportunities.
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay believes that working in a new country has more advantages than disadvantages for young men and women because of the personal growth and financial freedom that a person can enjoy.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a single main point. Consider providing a more detailed explanation of each idea presented.
task achievement
Make sure every idea is substantiated with relevant examples, and try to connect the ideas more smoothly for better logical flow.
positive
The essay presents a clear opinion that is consistently maintained throughout the text, with a convincing argument supporting the advantages of working abroad.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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