IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‘It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
todays
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today's
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 era, lots of
people
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 move from
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 home
country
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 to another in the hope of
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 life and
opprtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. Many
people
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 debate that the
perosn
Correct your spelling
person
 should know about the roots and the culture of the
othe
Correct your spelling
other
country
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 in which he is living presently,
while
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 some
people
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 believe that he should focus more on his
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 and growth as
this
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the
Add a missing verb
is the
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maon
Correct your spelling
main
 motive behind leaving his
country
Use synonyms
 and family back home. On the one hand, if a
person
Use synonyms
 is familiar with the history of the
country
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 he
si
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 about to live in it will be helpful for him as he easily gets mixed with the native
people
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 and make
friend
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friends
show examples
 quickly.
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moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 the knowledge of
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 respective culture is going to be like
an
Change the article
a
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 "
charry
Correct your spelling
cherry
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 on a cake" as
this
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 will provide a
person
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more
Change preposition
with more
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 confidence when
intracting wih
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interacting with
 old
peple
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people
 living in the
country
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from
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for
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long
Correct article usage
a long
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.
Also
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, knowledge of cultures and
beleifs
Correct your spelling
beliefs
 will help in getting
Correct article usage
the coopration
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coopration
Correct your spelling
cooperation
 of locals
while
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 in
new
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a new
the new
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country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, it does not matter whether a
person
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 is
familliar
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with the history of the
country
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becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 the nation is going to provide him
an
Add the preposition
with an
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apportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 for better life
according to
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 his ability and experience not on the basis of nations culture or
beleifs
Correct your spelling
beliefs
. So, it
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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impotant
Correct your spelling
important
 for a
person
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 to focus more on himself, work hard and become
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
. In the
last
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe it does not matter if we have or doest have the cultural or historical knowledge of the
country
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becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
flew
Wrong verb form
flies
show examples
 we will get to know about
nation's
Change noun form
nations
show examples
 if we make a
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 career and friends.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow of your arguments and ensure that your points are clearly connected to the main topic.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Make sure to use formal language and correct spelling consistently throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support your main points more effectively.
Content
You have presented an interesting perspective on the importance of knowing a country's culture and history.
Content
The essay touches on relevant points for discussion, which contributes to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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