IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays shops tend to stay open longer hours every day of the week. Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent times, many shops have started operating for extended
hours
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, including weekends.
While
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 some may argue that longer opening
hours
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 have drawbacks, I believe
this
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 trend is largely a positive development for both consumers and the economy. Extended shopping
hours
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 offer greater convenience to customers with busy lifestyles.People who
work
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 long or irregular
hours
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 can now shop at times that suit them best.
For instance
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, professionals who
work
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 late can visit supermarkets at night to buy essentials.
This
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 flexibility enhances customer satisfaction and supports modern lifestyles. Keeping stores open longer can boost economic activity.More operational
hours
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 mean more sales, increased profits, and potential for job creation.More operational
hours
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 mean more sales, increased profits, and potential for job creation.Retail chains that operate 24/7 often hire additional staff for evening shifts, helping reduce unemployment.Retail chains that operate 24/7 often hire additional staff for evening shifts, helping reduce unemployment.
Thus
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, extended
hours
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 support economic growth and employment.
However
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,
this
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 trend can place pressure on retail workers.
However
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,
this
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 trend can place pressure on retail workers.Employees may have to
work
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 unsociable
hours
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 or miss out on family time and rest.Shop assistants working night shifts may suffer from fatigue and poor
work
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-life balance.
This
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 challenge must be managed carefully to avoid exploitation. Despite
this
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, the
overall
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 impact remains positive if
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 laws are enforced.With fair scheduling and shift rotation, employees can still maintain a healthy routine.Some countries regulate maximum weekly
work
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hours
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 to protect workers’ rights.
Therefore
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, the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages when handled responsibly.
To conclude
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, longer shop
hours
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 provide convenience and economic benefits,
although
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 they can strain workers if not managed properly.In my view,
this
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 is a positive development
overall
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, provided employee well-being is safeguarded.

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task achievement
You provided a clear and relevant response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument. However, providing a few more specific examples to support your points could enhance your argument further.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. However, transitioning between some points could be smoother. Consider using more linking phrases to improve the flow between your thoughts.
coherence and cohesion
To improve your score, pay attention to repetition; phrases like 'more operational hours mean' have been used multiple times. Try to vary your language to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the issue, making it easy for readers to understand your position from the beginning.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by acknowledging the potential downsides of increased working hours, which adds depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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