People today are not as fit as they were in the past. What are the causes of this? What can governments do to deal with this issue?

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There is no

doubts

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doubt

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that these days

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people

Change noun form

people's

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bodies

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are

show examples

less attractive than

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show examples

the old days. The

qustion

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question

is, what

cause

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causes

show examples

people

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to be unfit like

the

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in the

show examples

past and what the

government

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should do to solve

this

Linking Words

issue

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and make

people

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care more for their bodies

Change the punctuation

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay

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essay,

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I will

highlights

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highlight

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what

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

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this

Linking Words

issue

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happen and what the

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government

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government's

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role

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is to

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prevent it.

To begin

Linking Words

with causes

this

Linking Words

problem. fast

foods

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food

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is the most critical

issue

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that

made

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

people

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fats

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fat

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and

let

Verb problem

makes

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them

Unnecessary verb

apply

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less active. To illustrate, fast foods have high fats in their meals and

this

Linking Words

will

increases

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increase

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peopols

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peoples

people

people's

wights

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weight

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overtime

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over time

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also

Linking Words

would let them skip the gym or any activity works in the day.

Moreover

Linking Words

sugers

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sugars

would

increases

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increase

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wights

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weight

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dramatically even if it

just

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is just

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small

Correct article usage

a small

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amount will have high

calories

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inside it.

For example

Linking Words

, Mars pars have more than 200

calories

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in the small par and

people

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eat 3-5 of

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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pars daily. In terms of what

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government

Correct article usage

the government

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should do about

this

Linking Words

issue

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the

Correct your spelling

they

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ought to increase individuals

awaraness

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awareness

about restaurants meals

calories

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and how it could affect their

healths

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health

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In other words

Linking Words

, every restaurant should include the

meals

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meal's

meals'

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calories

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in the menu.

Linking Words

Also

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Also,

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state should build more gyms around the country to give the

people

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chances to include

this

Linking Words

activity

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show examples

their daily

routens

Correct your spelling

routines

routes

routine

. In conclusion, there are many causes that

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

people

Use synonyms

unfit like before. It

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

true that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

could decrease

this

Linking Words

percentage if they act like I wrote above.

nawaf-binhusseinFri Apr 11 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Revise the introduction to clarify the thesis statement and provide a clearer outline of the main points to be discussed in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that all points are explained more fully and logically connect each idea to the next to improve the flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

Correct spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay, which will make your arguments more convincing.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples or statistics to support your claims, particularly around government actions and their effectiveness in promoting fitness.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the topic and provides both causes and potential solutions to the issue of fitness.

Coherence and Cohesion

The writer attempts to structure the essay with clear paragraphs dedicated to causes and solutions, which is a good practice.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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People today are not as fit as they were in the past. What are the causes of this? What can governments do to deal with this issue?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older.

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

International travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to move and more tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?