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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people believe that learning a language at childhood is much easier than at adulthood.What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning it at adulthood?

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A lot of individuals argue that studying different languages in their childhood is more common and faster than in adulthood. The essay will discuss
firstly
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, the advantages and
then
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 the disadvantages of educating it at the age of adolescence.
To begin
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 with, adults possess extensive life skills and accumulated knowledge in various fields, which allows them to associate new words and expressions with familiar situations, concepts and contexts.
As a result
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, the process of learning vocabulary becomes more meaningful, deeper and more effective.
For example
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, for a McDonald's employee like Mr. Jacob, it would be easier to remember words
such
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 as "order," "drinks," "receipt," "change," and so on.
Moreover
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, he doesn’t even need to memorize them —
instead
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, he immediately connects the new terms with specific knowledge and real-life experiences .
On the other hand
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, at the initial stages of
language
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 learning, adults often experience a lack of confidence, fearing they might make mistakes or appear awkward in front of others.
That is
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 to say,
such
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 psychological barriers can significantly slow down the development of speaking skills.
For instance
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, an interview with psychologist Mrs Ayla revealed that 37% of people in Russia practice fear and shyness when speaking in a foreign
language
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due to
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 the fear of making mistakes. In conclusion,
while
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 adults can use their life experiences in the right way to enhance
language
Use synonyms
 learning, they may face challenges like a lack of confidence and fear of making mistakes. Both the benefits and drawbacks should be taken into account when deciding the best time to learn a
language
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the topic and what your essay will cover, but try to use a more formal tone by avoiding conversational phrases like 'to begin with'. It can detract from the academic nature of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Consider connecting your main points with more transitional phrases to improve the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' can help to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, including more variety or depth in your examples could enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. For instance, adding another example of a professional adult learning a language could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points, but try to rephrase it slightly so that it doesn’t sound like a direct recap of the main points. A more analytical conclusion can elevate your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of learning a language in adulthood, which aligns well with the task requirements.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like Mr. Jacob and Mrs. Ayla, adds a personal touch to your arguments, making them more relatable and engaging for the reader.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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