IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of air pollution in cities is to increase the cost of vehicle fuel. Others think that different measures should be taken. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Air
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pollution
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 is a growing issue in many cities around the world. Some
people
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 believe that increasing the price of
fuel
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 for
vehicles
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 is the most effective way to reduce
air
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pollution
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.
However
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, others feel that there are better ways to deal with
this
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 problem.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and provide my own opinion. On the one hand, raising the cost of
fuel
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 might reduce the number of private
vehicles
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 on the road. When
fuel
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 becomes expensive,
people
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 may avoid using their own cars and start using public transport, bicycles, or walking.
As a result
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, the amount of harmful gases released into the
air
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 could decrease.
Also
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, high
fuel
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 prices could encourage
people
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 to choose electric or hybrid
vehicles
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, which are more environmentally friendly.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 argue that there are more practical solutions to fight
air
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pollution
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.
For example
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, governments can improve the quality and availability of public transportation so that more
people
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 will use it
instead
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 of driving. Planting more trees and creating green areas in cities can
also
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 help clean the
air
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.
In addition
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, stricter rules on vehicle emissions and encouraging the use of clean energy can
also
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 be effective ways to control
pollution
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. In my opinion, increasing the cost of
fuel
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 may have some positive effects, but it is not the best solution. It could cause financial problems for
people
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 who rely on
vehicles
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 for their jobs or daily needs.
Therefore
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, I believe that a mix of different strategies,
such
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 as better public transport and promoting green energy, would be more successful in solving the issue of
air
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pollution
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.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly outlines the main points and your opinion, consider adding a brief statement that summarizes the two main viewpoints more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, but sometimes the transition between ideas can be smoother. Consider using more linking words or phrases to connect your arguments more fluidly.
task achievement
You have provided some good examples, such as improved public transport and planting trees. However, including a specific example of a city that has implemented such measures successfully could strengthen your argument further.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument and offer a balanced opinion, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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