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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

✍️ IELTS (Essay Questions) Some people believe that helping others by giving them money or food is not as effective as teaching them useful skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is an ongoing debate about the most effective way to help those in need.
While
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 some believe that providing money or food is essential, others argue that teaching useful
skills
Use synonyms
 is a more sustainable form of support. I strongly agree with the latter view, as skill development empowers individuals to become self-reliant and break the cycle of dependency. Providing immediate aid,
such
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 as food or money, can be crucial in emergency situations.
For instance
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, during natural disasters or times of crisis, basic necessities are vital for survival.
However
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,
such
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 support is often temporary and does not address the root causes of poverty or unemployment. Once the aid ends, individuals may return to their previous state of need.
On the other hand
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, teaching useful
skills
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 has long-term benefits.
Skills
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such
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 as literacy, vocational training, or digital literacy can open up employment opportunities and enhance a person's ability to support themselves and their families.
For example
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, someone who learns carpentry or computer
skills
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 is more likely to find a job or start a small business, which leads to financial independence and improved quality of life.
Moreover
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, skill development fosters dignity and confidence. When people are able to contribute meaningfully to society and provide for themselves, they often experience greater self-worth and motivation.
This
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 can have a ripple effect, strengthening communities and reducing reliance on charity. In conclusion,
although
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 providing money or food can offer short-term relief, teaching useful
skills
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 is a far more effective and sustainable way to help others. It empowers individuals and promotes long-term solutions to poverty and inequality.

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Task Achievement
Your arguments are well structured and clearly presented, but try to add more examples to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You might consider using a few more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition', to enhance the flow of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You provided a balanced view by acknowledging the role of immediate aid and then focusing on skill development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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