IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to own an accommodation rather than rent from others.
This
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 essay will explain that
this
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situation
Use synonyms
 is more popular in some nations because residents want to have more freedom and
stability
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.
However
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,
this
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 can be considered as both positive and negative ideas. Citizens choose owning a
home
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 over renting because
this
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 makes them feel more flexible and stable. By renting
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's spaces, they cannot adjust the
home
Use synonyms
 freely or change rooms' functionality without allowances from a landlord.
Moreover
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, there is a risk of paying more rental
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 if the spaces' owners increase or change payment terms.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 normally sign
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
or 2-year contract with an owner
instead
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 of a long-term contract. So, if the owner requires a higher rental rate or
cancel
Correct subject-verb agreement
cancels
show examples
 the contract after the
comitted
Correct your spelling
committed
 period,
people
Use synonyms
 will have to move to other places, having a risk for their lives. To consider
this
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situation
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 as a positive or negative view,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
depends on the financial
stability
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 of
people
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. If citizens already have a sufficient amount of
money
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 and can manage finances wisely, owning a
home
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 benefits them. It allows
people
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 to have their own spaces,
freedomly
Correct your spelling
freely
 arranging areas to match their needs.
However
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, purchasing an
accommidation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 is a huge investment that requires a lot of
money
Use synonyms
, probably resulting in big debts. If buyers are not ready, they will suffer from a long-term payment. It normally lasts for 20 to 30 years to cover all prices.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 have to consider carefully and thoughtfully before deciding to buy a house. In conclusion,
people
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 prioritize owning a
home
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 over renting since it offers higher
flexibity
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 and
stability
Use synonyms
. If
people
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 have enough
money
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 and are sure that they can manage their finances wisely,
this
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situation
Use synonyms
 is beneficial.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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situation
Use synonyms
 will negatively impact financial
stability
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 if buyers do not have enough
money
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.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on each point with additional examples or explanations. This helps strengthen your arguments and shows a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, as this will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and rephrase your points for variety. This can enhance your essay's readability and engagement.
task achievement
You presented a clear argument regarding the importance of home ownership and its impact on stability and flexibility.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay and summarize your key points well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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