In many countries, crime rates among young people have been rising. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to address this issue?"

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It is true that nowadays the rates of crimes are increasing rapidly, especially among the young generation. There could be various reasons why
this
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is the case, and I believe authorities should take serious steps to alleviate the situation in any way possible. There are various reasons why individuals are inclined to commit crimes. Poverty is considered to be the chief reason which contributes to robbery because people find it easier or quicker to steal than to go through the process of getting and keeping a job. Another main cause of today’s horrible and unsafe society can be considered the family background of each resident. Children exposed to violence in their homes may grow up with subconscious thoughts that compel them to impulsive reactions when angry from which violent crimes
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as murder, rape and assault may result. In my view, to tackle the above-mentioned problems and make society a safe and peaceful atmosphere for the next generation to foster, governments should introduce adequate punishment for each crime. Punishment is good for two reasons: it shows the offenders that they can not simply get away with doing the wrong things, and as a form of prevention. The fear of punishment is often the head reason for law-abiding citizens not to slip to the other side of the track.
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, rehabilitation can be another major solution as it aims to make criminals better citizens. In conclusion, I believe governments should take a part of the blame for the high crime rate and to control the present situation they must bring in penalties to deter inhabitants from breaking the laws.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, when mentioning poverty, you might reference statistics or studies that illustrate its connection to crime rates.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to vary your sentence structure to enhance readability. Some sentences are quite lengthy and could be simplified to improve clarity.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on rehabilitation and how it can be practically implemented, which would enhance your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay and outlines the issues being discussed, which is a strong point.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your paragraphs is generally clear, with each focusing on a main idea, contributing to overall readability and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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