Today, the lifespan of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadays, the lifespan of older

people

Use synonyms

is higher than before. With

this

Linking Words

suggestion in

mind

Add a comma

mind,

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

argue that older

people

Use synonyms

should continue to be involved in the workforce.

Although

Linking Words

elders' experience is invaluable when making decisions, having them in the workforce at their later stages of life can result in unemployment for younger generations.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

would impact

Use synonyms

youngsters

Change noun form

youngsters'

youngster's

show examples

lives

Change preposition

show examples

their rewards and promotions would be delayed as these older

people

Use synonyms

are

alreading

Correct your spelling

already

holding onto their seats.

However

Linking Words

, working

Change preposition

show examples

old age would

definately

Correct your spelling

definitely

help them to

physically

Add a missing verb

be physically

show examples

and

mental

Change the adjective

mentally

show examples

healthy.

To begin

Linking Words

with, elders have been working in the industry for far more years than

youngsters

Use synonyms

so have more experience than them.

Additionally

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

perk

Add a comma

perk,

show examples

most founders of multi-national companies are old. Elon Musk and Mark

Zukerberg

Correct your spelling

Zuckerberg

started back in the days when startups weren't

Correct article usage

the

show examples

norm. During their

journey

Add a comma

journey,

show examples

they have gained experience

that is

Linking Words

far greater than any other younger employee.

Moreover

Linking Words

, working at

this

Linking Words

age forces them to think and plan ahead.

This

Linking Words

complustion

Correct your spelling

completion

helps them to stay motivated and

also

Linking Words

helps in preventing the

degration

Correct your spelling

degradation

of their mental ability.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, physical

exercience

Correct your spelling

exercise

experience

needs to be done in order to maintain their job and living.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, for

Use synonyms

youngsters

Add a comma

youngsters,

show examples

these elders are a stone in their way. For them as they stay at senior positions for

longers

Correct your spelling

longer

show examples

periods

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

their promotions and rewards are delayed and when the time is for them to actually

retired

Wrong verb form

retire

show examples

these

youngsters

Use synonyms

would be very late to plan and

this

Linking Words

is possible that they might not be able to support for their familiy. In conclusion, these

olders

Correct your spelling

older

can work and

this

Linking Words

owuld

Correct your spelling

would

could

cause

problesm

Correct your spelling

problems

problem

for younger

people

Use synonyms

and prevent them from living a proper life.

Correct your spelling

Also

Aslo

Correct your spelling

Also

this

Linking Words

would create unemployment as seats are already booked

gurvirsingh.academicSun Apr 13 2025

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task achievement

Work on refining your thesis statement to clearly express your position on the issue at hand. Make sure it summarizes the main points you will discuss in a concise manner.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, guiding the reader about what to expect in that section.

task achievement

Try to include more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments, especially for points where you feel your opinion might benefit from evidence.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors, as these can detract from the overall quality of your writing.

task achievement

You have presented a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, which showcases your ability to consider multiple perspectives.

coherence and cohesion

The essay flows quite well, with a logical progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lifespan
workforce
invaluable experience
mentorship
expertise
accumulated knowledge
socially engaged
sense of purpose
fulfillment
pension system sustainability
social welfare
economy
imbalance
employment opportunities
aging bodies
financial burden

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Today, the lifespan of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that police force carries guns, this encourage higher level of violence in that society. To what extend do yo agree or disagree?

Some people think that the goverment should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource , while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion