More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Obesity in children is one of the major problems every country facing right now. There are lots of factors responsible for
this
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situation. In
this
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essay, we will discuss the main reasons and the effects of
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issue.
Firstly
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, one of the main reasons for the increase in the number of overweight youngsters especially in developed nations is junk food
for example
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noodles, burgers, fries etc. These days children like to eat
this
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kind of food which is making them fluffy.
Also
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, little ones nowadays spend most of their time on phones, computers or
tv
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TV
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screens
as a result
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they are busy in the virtual world and become couch potatoes.
Secondly
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, hardly we see any kids playing on the ground or doing some physical activity. These days the easy availability of electronic gadgets especially mobile, restricted them from playing any physical game.
Moreover
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, parents are
also
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equally responsible for
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scenario because of their hectic working schedules they are unable to spend some quality time with their children or have no time to play with them.
As a result
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, teens become addicted to these screens only not to any ground or gym which is making them fat.
Lastly
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, rising in the weight
in
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of
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offspring should be the biggest concern for any wealthy country because the young generation
are
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is
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the future of the nation if they become fatty
then
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the country will not be able to grow or survive in
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modern era.

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Improvement
Your introduction presents the topic well, but try to include a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help guide your reader more effectively.
Improvement
While your ideas are generally relevant, ensuring that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences support that idea can enhance the clarity of your arguments.
Improvement
Be sure to include more specific examples or data to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Improvement
Your conclusion should reiterate the key points discussed in the essay and more clearly state the implications of childhood obesity for the future of developed nations.
Strength
You have a good understanding of the topic and discuss relevant reasons and effects of childhood obesity, showing awareness of its impact on society.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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