Some people think that hardworking and determination are the key factors for being successful in life. Other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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crowd have different opinions about what leads to a successful life. Some believe that hard work and determination are the key components of accomplishment,

while

Linking Words

others argue that different factors play a more important role. I strongly believe that with consistent effort and dedication, anyone can achieve fame. Apparently, hard work and dedication play crucial roles because without

this

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anyone can't sustain themselves in

this

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competitive environment.

In other words

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, numerous leaders have achieved progress in different fields but these two qualities are mostly common among those crowd.

For example

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, Dr. APJ Abdulkalam is one of the best scientists around the globe but his life journey began in a very rural area and he has a non-educated family background, his determination and perseverance led him towards career development. I believe that

this

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school of thought is the foundation of the long-term boom.

On the other hand

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, a few communities argue that other factors have more potential behind the successful outcome, like encouragement and financial support. Having a strong financial background helps individuals make risk-free decisions and fosters quick and easy growth.

For example

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, it has been shown that children of millionaires invest in various businesses and effortlessly create wealth which normal folk are unable to secure

this

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wealth. Despite

this

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, I say

this

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is an overnight opportunity which can not harness sustainability. In conclusion, other factors

such

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as financial freedom and encouragement can offer quick fulfilment but stability hardship and determination are essential to pursue higher achievement.

vairag4uTue Apr 15 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction could be clearer and more impactful if you restate both views explicitly. Consider mentioning the two viewpoints in the introduction before stating your own opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties into your argument. This will help improve the logical flow of your ideas.

Task Achievement

When providing examples, ensure they support the point you are making without deviations in focus. For instance, clarify how Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam’s background ties back to the idea of hard work leading to success without adding extra details that might confuse the main point.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow between ideas. This will not only make your essay smoother but also enhance clarity for the reader.

Task Achievement

Your use of examples is commendable, especially with a well-known personality like Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, which strengthens your argument about hard work and determination.

Coherence and Cohesion

You included a discussion of various viewpoints, which is a good practice for addressing the prompt comprehensively—this shows an understanding of multiple perspectives.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
skill development
overcoming obstacles
social connections
economic background
grit
entrepreneurs
existing connections
industries
career paths
balanced perspective

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Some people think that hardworking and determination are the key factors for being successful in life. Other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some believe that it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct and therefore, there is no reason to try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?