IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Big businesses nowadays use methods of advertising to convince consumers that their product is better and new than the rest of the others.
This
Linking Words
 is actually a technique commonly used today. I firmly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it's a positive development
due to
Linking Words
 some particular reasons that we will discuss in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Advertising has become the essence of introducing novelty to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers. The reason to show newness in the product is to hide a big truth behind
this
Linking Words
 notion.
People
Use synonyms
 have myriad options
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when buying even a small product.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past
people
Use synonyms
 had very limited variety to choose from. i.e. selecting a dress for some event. But now, there are thousands of brands , each claiming to have better designs and new dresses.
Additionally
Linking Words
, another reason is the mindset of humans. It can be clearly observed, that as compared to our ancestors, our generations are now more conscious about changing and buying new things every day. They have less contentment in their lives and
thus
Linking Words
, in order to satisfy their inner-self, they want progressiveness. So, to grab the attention of their clients, sellers prefer to show some advancement in their products. Folks often get bored easily and feel the need for adventure and
this
Linking Words
 is actually the technique business tycoons are using to boost their sales . Some
people
Use synonyms
 on the other side opine, that it is a negative development. It is a bitter reality because
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 development,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 youngsters spend a lot of money to buy and experience new things they see in advertisements.
Thus
Linking Words
, putting a lot of financial burden on parents. Keeping all these reasons in mind I am still biased towards the idea that it is a good practice to exhibit new features through ads. It has become the source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 livelihood for several
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your ideas are thoroughly expanded and supported with more concrete examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your paragraphing to improve clarity and flow, possibly separating ideas into more distinct paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Try to keep your language consistent; some phrases can be paraphrased for better clarity and precision
task achievement
You present a clear opinion about the topic, which is a strong start in task response.
task achievement
You provide some insight into consumer behavior and marketing strategies, which is relevant to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: