Some people think children should learn to paint and draw at school. Others believe it is just a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the contemporary era,

children

Use synonyms

should be taught to paint and draw at school believe some people.

However

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, others argue that it is just a waste of time. In

this

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essay, I will justify both perspectives before presenting my opinion. To commence with,

firstly

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artistic skills like painting and drawing

Remove the comma

apply

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can enhance

children

Use synonyms

's creativity and imagination, providing them with a means of personal expression and emotional release.

Although

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they draw small things, which improves their mental ability.

For example

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, there are many play stations and

children

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's schools where

children

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learn these imaginative things.

Moreover

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, learning to paint and draw contributes to a child's

overall

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development, including fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination, which are crucial for many academic and daily tasks.

As a result

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, artistic skills are necessary for a child's development. Moving ahead,

secondly

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, in a time of increasing academic pressure, educational resources should prioritize subjects that directly contribute to economic success,

such

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as STEM fields, rather than art.

For example

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although

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children

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waste their time in painting and drawing, their academic section gets wasted and

scores

Correct subject-verb agreement

score

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low on exams.

Furthermore

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children

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get into the habit of drawing on the wall of the hall which creates damage to the house.

For instance

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, education is more important than learning art . In conclusion, exposure to the arts has been linked to improved academic performance in subjects like math and science, suggesting that artistic training can bolster cognitive abilities.

However

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, educational resources should be prioritised as subjects that directly contribute to economic success. Maintaining a balance between these will help in the

overall

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development of the

children

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nazianoor1314Wed Apr 16 2025

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Task Achievement

The essay presents both views clearly but could benefit from expanding on some arguments for greater depth. For example, you could elaborate further on how art impacts cognitive skills or offer more examples of successful art integration in education.

Coherence and Cohesion

Some sentences could be restructured for clarity. For example, 'Although they draw small things, which improves their mental ability' is not clear. Consider revising to say 'Engaging in art can improve children's mental capabilities through creative expression.'

Coherence and Cohesion

While you have a logical structure, you could improve transition phrases between points. Try using more connection words or phrases to better guide the reader through your arguments, like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally.'

Task Achievement

There are a few grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrases. For instance, 'Although children waste their time in painting and drawing' could be suggested as 'Some argue that children may be wasting time on painting and drawing,' which reads more naturally.

Task Achievement

The essay introduces both sides of the argument effectively, showing an understanding of the topic from multiple perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion ties the arguments together well, reiterating the importance of balancing art and academic subjects. This is a strong way to summarize your position.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

creativity
imagination
personal expression
emotional release
overall development
fine motor skills
hand-eye coordination
academic performance
STEM fields
well-rounded
critical thinking
problem-solving
innovation
arts education

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Some people think children should learn to paint and draw at school. Others believe it is just a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative impact on young people’s writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Giving detailed information of crime in newspapers and on television has bad consequences. Some suggest that government should impose some restriction on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays young people spend too much time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do agree or disagree?