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Writing Samples
Band 6

Throughout the history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agree how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make a perfect society? How do people do to achieving an ideal society?

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Nowadays, most
people
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 always seek an ideal
society
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 as a place to live. Some
people
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 often dream of one, but they do not explain the clear image and descriptions of how the perfect
society
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 should be. I personally think that good
governance
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 is required to fulfill
this
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 dream and I will explain some of the examples in
this
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 essay. A country with good
governance
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 is often related to civil prosperity. In Southeast Asia, Singapore is a top leader in the economy because it recorded the lowest corruption rate amongst other countries.
This
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 means that they utilized their tax income to develop their country, allowing
people
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 to have a quality life by providing access to better health services, various transportation facilities and more job opportunities.
Thus
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,
this
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 condition will surely close the gap between the rich and the poor where most
people
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 are more prosperous. There are a lot of ways to achieve an ideal
society
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. With good
governance
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 as one of the vital identification, I think
society
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 should not be intimidated or owned by a higher power other than the law itself.
This
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 allows
a
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apply
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society
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 to act
accordingly
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 within the right norms and the government will dedicate their work
for
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to
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 a collective interest,
thus
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 everyone will have fair
chances
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chance
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 to make their own way to have a high quality of life. In conclusion, good
governance
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 holds a significant role in meeting the idea of a perfect
society
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. With that requirement,
this
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 will lead to a more prosperous
society
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 where the law has to stand above anyone else.

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task achievement
Try to provide clearer examples or case studies to support your points. More specific evidence can strengthen your argument and demonstrate a better understanding.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the transitions between ideas to ensure smoother reading. This can help in making the logical flow of your essay clearer.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your viewpoint effectively.
content
The idea of good governance as a fundamental aspect of an ideal society is well articulated and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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