As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike, leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is true that in modern society, by advancing communication ways and transport , many societies are getting more resemble together which leads to globalisation. Some people would complain that

globalization

Use synonyms

will result in a violation of their total cultural identity which is known as their civil liberties;

however

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, my personal attitude toward

this

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is that

globalization

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can have many financial benefits

such

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as accessible stuff like cheaper cars and smartphones,

moreover

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, societies can exchange their lifestyle and how to live to be healthy.There are two major reasons for

this

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issue ,which

Iwill

Correct your spelling

I will

discuss in the following paragraphs. One point I believe is that in regarding

globalization

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is a golden chance to compete with other countries to enhance the quality of life in a society.

Firstly

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, one major reason is that old

methods

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which we used in the past are no more effective if any country hopes to advance they should communicate with other parts of the world.

For example

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, tutoring

methods

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have changed during the

last

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40 years and every student needs innovative

methods

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to communicate which is their right.

Secondly

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, many economic aspects of a society may be grown by using international businessmen which results in varied different jobs for unemployment.

However

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globalization

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has a host of shortcomings like damage to culture, but each community has their special lifestyle which is appropriate for

health

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and medical injuries. every poor country that does not have efficient

health

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treatments can gain innovative

methods

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which they can count on practically through globalisation.

For instance

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, in Middle Eastern countries like Iran where you can find efficient

health

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care with

health

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treatments , every nation can modify their communication with Iran to enhance their life cycles. In conclusion,

however

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, people have the right to keep their cultures and customs , even though the government suggest enhancing their communication and

globalization

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by making an evolution in transport .

takhtejamshid1400historikalFri Nov 22 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure to fully address all parts of the task with clear positions and well-rounded perspectives. While you have provided some reasons, exploring counterarguments and reinforcing your position with specific examples and evidence would enhance understanding and depth.

Coherence and Cohesion

Focus on developing clear and logical structures within paragraphs. Each point should seamlessly connect to the next, with suitable linking words and phrases, to support reader comprehension and essay cohesion.

Structuring

Your essay contains clear sections: introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your train of thought and understand your main ideas.

Task Response

The content addresses the given topic and maintains relevance throughout, contributing to an appropriate discussion of globalization and cultural identity.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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