IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many schools today use school uniforms for the students. Many people llike this idea and some think it is not great. Give the advantages and disadvantages of using school uniforms.

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Nowadays, fashion is the most important thing to all people, especially to
teanagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
.
many
Fix capitalization
Many
show examples
 schools use
uniforms
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 for the
students
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.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, some people do not like
this
Linking Words
 idea.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using school
uniforms
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. There is allot of disadvantages of using
uniforms
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.
First,
Linking Words
saving time.
as
Fix capitalization
As
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 we
know
Punctuation problem
know,
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 girls and boys
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 a long time to chose them outfit. Here
is come
Wrong verb form
comes
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 the
uniform
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 as a great solution to save time.
Second,
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using
uniforms
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 can stop
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students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 desire to
competition
Replace the word
compete with
 each other. No one will think what he should wear to be more
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
 than his friends.
As a result
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, they will be more focused on their education performance.
Theird
Correct your spelling
Third
,
uniforms
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 can save money. As it is known that
Use synonyms
uniform
Correct subject-verb agreement
uniforms
show examples
 have a reasonable
coast
Use the right word
cost
show examples
 that everyone can pay for. .
However
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,there are many disadvantages to not using
uniform
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.
For example
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,
students
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 may not feel
equals
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equal
. Some
students
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 wear brands, others cannot offer it. These differences may cause negative effects on
students
Use synonyms
' mental health.
Moreover
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, using
difference
Replace the word
different
 clothes every day
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 more money than using the same
uniform
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 every day. because every student needs two
atless
Correct your spelling
at least
 from the same
uniform
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 for one
cours
Correct your spelling
course
.
Fainally
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Finally
. Not using
uniforms
Use synonyms
 means that every student will wear what they like from multi design and
colors
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colours
show examples
.
As a result
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,discipline
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one structure will be very hard
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all. In conclusion, both ideas
concloud
Correct your spelling
have
 negative and positive sides. And both of them can be used in the right way if there is
smart
Correct article usage
a smart
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 plan to use
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both sides in a clear way. You talk about good and bad points, but some parts are not fully clear.
task response
Use ideas that fit the question all the time. One part says bad points of using uniforms, but the examples are about bad points of not using uniforms.
task response
Add one simple real example for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence cohesion
Put each main idea in a clear order. Some sentences do not connect well, so the reader may get lost.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words well, but check them. Some are used in the wrong place, like 'However' and 'In the other hand'.
coherence cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one side only: one for advantages, one for disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so you answer the main task.
coherence cohesion
You use paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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