IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many schools today use school uniforms for the students. Many people llike this idea and some think it is not great. Give the advantages and disadvantages of using school uniforms.

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Nowadays, fashion is the most important issue for most people, especially for teenagers. Many schools use
uniforms
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 for the
students
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. There is a theory, by some, that
this
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 is a great idea.
However
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, others think it is unnecessary.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using school
uniforms
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. On the one hand, there are multiple advantages of using
uniforms
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.
First,
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saving time is one of the main features. It is well known that girls and boys spend a long time choosing their outfits.
Therefore
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,
uniforms
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 act as a wonderful solution to save time.
Second,
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using
uniforms
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 can stop
students
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' desire to compete with each other.
Uniforms
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 create equality and eliminate feelings of jealousy .
As a result
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, they will be more focused on their educational performance .
Third,
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uniforms
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 can save the family some money. As it is known,
uniforms
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 have a reasonable cost that everyone can afford.
Also
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, parents are not required to buy expensive brand-name clothes. .
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages to using
uniforms
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.
First,
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it does not allow for personal freedom and expression.
For example
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,
students
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 are not able to wear clothes that reflect their personal taste. Many
students
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 are proud of their fashion choices.
Second,
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they may get bored wearing the same outfits every day. Variety is something
students
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 would enjoy.
Finally
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, they have no choice in picking colours or styles. They are not involved in the design of the uniform and must wear what is given to them. In conclusion, it is easy to understand both sides. There are definitely some advantages to using school
uniforms
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.
However
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, it must be noted that school
uniforms
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 can
also
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 create problems for the
students
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.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your good points are clear, but the bad side is a bit short.
task response
Add one or two more real examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Some ideas are clear, but a few are too general. Try to explain each main point a little more.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is very good.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some spaces and full stops are not used well.
coherence cohesion
Keep each point in one smooth flow. A few parts look broken because of punctuation and spacing.
task response
You answered the question and talked about both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to follow in most parts of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You used clear paragraphing with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Words like first, second, however, and in conclusion help guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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