IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue? Umar

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For the
last
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years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
, there has been an increase in the
apply
Replace the word
application
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 of performance-improving medication in sports.
This
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 essay will discuss a good idea because doping may include hard recovery and large
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
. Using drugs it’s spread around the world.
Moreover
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, people use them
for
Change preposition
to
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 enhance their strength. It
canleat
Correct your spelling
can lead
 to irreversible consequences
such
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 as long-term disease after taking them
also
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recover
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recovery
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 can be hard
due to
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 it can hurt some of the body organs
subsequently
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 it might be
chronic
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a chronic
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 illness.
For instance
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, in 2017 the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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 of
healthcare
Capitalize word
Healthcare
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 arrested
on
Correct your spelling
one
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 of
them
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the
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 famous football
player
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players
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 Pol Pogba because
of
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apply
show examples
his health state was terrible during the match and after
,
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apply
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his legs
need
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needed
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 to
cut
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be cut
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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he induced spent approximately 90000 dollars to fine after that he completely
finish
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finished
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hus
Correct your spelling
his
 career because can’t pay for treatment. Most
of
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apply
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athletes who take drugs confess that they come back to them in spite of health
problem
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problems
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,
violent
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and violent
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law
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laws
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.
However
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, especially
due to
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 huge quantities of
penalty
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penalties
show examples
, they stopped to take them.
Fine
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The fine
A fine
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 can count
until
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to
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 1 million dollars and probably be more,
depends
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depending
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 on the size of
drugs
Correct article usage
the drugs
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.
In addition
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, it's impossible to escape them.
For example
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, in 2018, the main jail of Uzbekistan recovered about 5000
of
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apply
show examples
citizens who
have
Verb problem
were
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 strong drug
addict
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addicts
show examples
. Because
of
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apply
show examples
the government issued an invoice for 1000 dollars for each crime. And the residents just can't afford to consume them. In conclusion,
individuals
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for individuals
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 who
tent
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tend
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 to substances , their process
throw
Verb problem
apply
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heavily
involving
Wrong verb form
involves
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 problems connecting with main organs and in many ways enormous
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
 can solve
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
 called substance dependence.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state the consequences of doping and the measures to combat this issue. Try to provide a clearer roadmap for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your points are more logically structured. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, and the relationship between your ideas should be clearer.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples and make sure they are accurate and relevant to your points. This will help improve your task response.
task achievement
You attempted to cover both the consequences of doping and the measures that can be taken to combat this issue. This shows a good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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