Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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argue that competing against others at
work
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, at school and in daily life has a positive impact,
while
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others say that
people
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focusing on working together is better than
competition
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.
Although
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being in a
competition
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would improve our motivation but not
health
Correct pronoun usage
our health
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, I believe that good
cooperation
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can make the
work
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smooth and efficient, without any difficulties. On the one hand, being in a workplace or school where everyone is in a
competition
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could be good because it pushes
people
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to do their best.
For example
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, in a workplace, when employees compete for promotions, they often
work
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Change preposition
with hoarder
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hoarder
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hoarders
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and come up with
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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new ideas.
This
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can lead to greater success for the company.
However
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, I believe that too much
competition
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can cause stress and a negative atmosphere, it can make
people
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anxious, leading it a fear of failure
instead
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of a desire to
innovation
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innovate
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.
On the other hand
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,
cooperation
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is more beneficial. When
people
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work
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together,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can achieve more than they could
work
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alone. In schools, group
project
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projects
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let students share ideas and learn from each other.
This
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teamwork not only
help
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helps
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them understand the knowledge better but
also
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prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
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them for future jobs where collaboration is key.
Cooperation
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fosters a supportive environment where everyone feels valued and motivated to help each other improve and succeed. In conclusion,
although
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working in a space that supports
competition
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can negatively affect the health and mentality of
people
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,
cooperation
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builds strong
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and teamwork, leading to individual achievement and collective success.

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Task Response
Your introduction presents both views but could be clearer. Make sure to state your opinion more explicitly. It might help to summarize the points you will discuss in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay’s structure is generally logical, but some points could be better connected. Make use of linking words or phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
You provide some relevant examples, but they could be more specific. For instance, you mention 'working harder and coming up with new ideas,' but a specific example of such an idea could strengthen your argument.
Task Response
Your essay gives a balanced view of both perspectives, showing you understand different opinions on competition and cooperation.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have used clear language overall, which helps convey your ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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