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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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In some parts of the world, traditional festivals are slowly disappearing.
This
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 is often
due to
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 changes in lifestyle and the influence of modern culture.
However
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, I believe there are ways to preserve these important cultural events. One major reason is globalization. As people adopt global habits and values, they may lose interest in their local customs.
Additionally
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, younger generations often see traditional events as outdated or irrelevant, especially in busy urban areas where time and community spirit are limited. To protect these celebrations, cultural education should be improved. Schools can teach the meaning behind festivals,
while
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 the media can help by promoting them in creative ways. Governments and local leaders should
also
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 support
such
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 events financially and logistically to keep them alive. In conclusion,
although
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 traditions are under threat, with the right support and awareness, they can still survive and remain a meaningful part of modern life.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on your main points with more specific examples or scenarios that illustrate your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another by using more linking phrases or transitional words to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Modernization
  • Homogenization
  • Globalization
  • Cultural practices
  • Economic pressures
  • Cultural heritage
  • Digital entertainment
  • Cultural organizations
  • Educational programs
  • Cultural tourism
  • Revitalize
  • Authentic cultural events
  • Traditional customs
  • Incorporating modern elements
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