Some people prefer to buy local commodities, while other think that world wide products have a better quality. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
people
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have different preferences when it comes to buying
products
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.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that buying local commodities is better for the economy and health, there is
also
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an argument that international
products
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offer better
quality
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and more variety.
This
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essay will analyse the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, many
people
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prefer to buy local
products
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.
In other words
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, they believe that buying from local markets supports small businesses and helps the local economy grow.
In addition
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, local food items
such
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as fruits, vegetables, and dairy
products
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are usually fresher and healthier because they do not need to travel long distances.
For example
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, buying vegetables from a nearby farm means they are likely to be more natural and less processed.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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think that worldwide
products
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have better
quality
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. It is
also
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possible to say that international companies often use advanced technology and strict
quality
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control.
Moreover
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,
people
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trust well-known brands because of their strong reputation and long history.
For instance
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, someone may prefer to buy an international mobile phone brand
due to
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its performance, design, and customer support.
To sum up
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, there is no easy answer
for
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to
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this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that both local and global
products
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have value.
People
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should choose based on
quality
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, price, and need. Supporting local businesses is important, but enjoying the benefits of international
products
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is
also
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a smart choice.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction effectively outlines the topic and mentions both views, setting a clear purpose for the essay. However, consider rephrasing the thesis statement for greater clarity and impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint. To improve coherence, you might include more transitional phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your main points, which is great. To enhance the essay, you could add more specific details or statistics to strengthen your arguments about the benefits of local and international products.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a balanced view of both local and international products, showing an understanding of differing perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the discussion while reinforcing your opinion, which is a strong way to end the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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