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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In recent years, the way people interact and coexist has become a topic of growing importance in modern society.
While
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 some argue that members of today’s community are more self-reliant than ever before, others believe that
individuals
Use synonyms
 have become increasingly interdependent. From my perspective,
although
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 both views hold merit, I firmly side with the latter: contemporary
life
Use synonyms
 has fostered greater dependence among
individuals
Use synonyms
. The reasons supporting
this
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 viewpoint will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the nature of modern
life
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 inevitably compels
individuals
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 to depend on one another across various domains. Technological advancements, though empowering, have
also
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 created interconnected systems where collaboration is essential. In professional environments,
for instance
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, few tasks are executed in isolation;
instead
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, success often hinges on teamwork, shared platforms, and collective decision-making.
Additionally
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, in personal spheres, people today seek emotional connection and support more than ever. With rising levels of stress and mental health challenges, many turn to family, friends, and online communities to find comfort, reassurance, and a sense of belonging.
Moreover
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, the complexity of today’s urbanized world encourages a network-based lifestyle. Whether navigating digital infrastructure, managing financial systems, or engaging in social media,
individuals
Use synonyms
 rarely function completely independently. Even mundane activities—
such
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 as food delivery, remote education, or telehealth consultations—require collaboration between service providers and users. These examples clearly illustrate that mutual reliance has become an integral part of everyday
life
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.
On the other hand
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, it is worth acknowledging that the modern era
also
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 allows for greater personal autonomy. The accessibility of online learning platforms, remote work opportunities, and self-help resources enables
individuals
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 to acquire knowledge, earn
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
, and solve problems independently. A self-governing lifestyle can, in
this
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 sense, cultivate essential qualities
such
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 as self-discipline, accountability, and adaptability.
This
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 independence fosters resilience and prepares
individuals
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 to thrive in uncertain or competitive environments.
Nevertheless
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, I would argue that
such
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 independence is conditional and often supported by underlying systems or communities. In essence, self-sufficiency today is not about isolation but rather about functioning within a broader, interconnected framework.
Therefore
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, even so-called "independent" actions often rely on the invisible support of others—be it through technology, logistics, or shared knowledge. In conclusion,
while
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 modern
life
Use synonyms
 does offer tools that promote autonomy, it simultaneously fosters a deeper level of social, emotional, and technological interdependence.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that people today are, in practice, more reliant on one another than in the past.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-developed argument with clear points for both views, but ensure that your arguments clearly reflect back to the task prompt throughout each paragraph for better alignment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, but transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow. Consider using more varied linking words to lead into examples or counterarguments.
Task Achievement
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and your position, effectively setting the stage for the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have utilized relevant examples and detailed explanations that effectively support your arguments, showing a strong understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • globalization
  • remote work
  • independence
  • dependency
  • specialization
  • professional services
  • social validation
  • individualism
  • self-reliance
  • collective action
  • sustainability
  • global community
  • navigating
  • complexity
  • environmental movement
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