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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land become lesson productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land become lesson productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
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The pie chart
illustrate
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illustrates
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 the vast issues
the
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of the
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 lack of agricultural land manufactured,
while
Linking Words
 the table depicts the impacts of these problems in three regions, which are North America, Europe, and Oceania in 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, both data represent that over-grazing was the main
issues
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issue
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 globally and in some regions based on the charts.
According to
Linking Words
 the worldwide land degradation, over-grazing reached the highest percentage among
other
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others
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, about more than a third. Followed by, other factors including deforestation and over-cultivation showed
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly
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slight
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 difference, 35% and constituted about 28%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, unidentified causes made up only 7%.
According to
Linking Words
 land degradation in Oceania, the proportion of the effect was
align
Wrong verb form
aligned
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 with the global data, which over-grazing
wes
Correct your spelling
was
 the main factor among others, around a tenth. Meanwhile, in North America and
Europe
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Europe,
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 over-plant was the most
determaine
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determined
, about 7.7% and 9.8%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the lack
causes
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of causes
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 in third regions
was
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were
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 diverse, which
are
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is
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deforastation
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deforestation
 made up only 0.2% in North America, over-grazing represented
about
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apply
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nearly 6%, and
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
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 over-cultivation In Oceania.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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