IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no denying the fact that social
media
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 has become a big part of
people
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’s lives around the world.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that social
media
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 helps
people
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 stay connected and updated with news, there is
also
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 an argument that it causes problems
such
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 as addiction, fake news, and less face-to-face interaction.
This
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 essay will analyse the topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, social
media
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 is a useful tool for communication.
In other words
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, it allows
people
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 to stay in touch with family and friends no matter where they are.
In addition
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, it provides a fast and easy way to share updates, photos, and important events.
For example
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,
people
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 can use apps like WhatsApp or Instagram to talk, share, and feel connected even if they live in different countries.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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 can
also
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 have negative effects. It is
also
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 possible to say that many
people
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 spend too much time on these platforms, which can affect their mental health and productivity.
Moreover
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, fake news spreads quickly on social
media
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 and can cause confusion or fear.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, many false claims about the virus were shared online, and some
people
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 believed them without checking the facts.
To sum up
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, there is no easy answer
for
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to
show examples
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that the advantages of social
media
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 outweigh the disadvantages, as long as
people
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 use it in a smart and balanced way.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the argument that social media facilitates connection by providing specific examples of how it has positively impacted relationships or communities.
coherence and cohesion
You might want to enhance your conclusion by summarizing the key points more distinctly to reinforce your viewpoint.
task achievement
When mentioning the negative effects of social media, try to include more specific statistics or studies that highlight its impact on mental health and productivity.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and effectively presents both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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