Many people spend a lot of money on clothes , haircuts , beauty products to enhance their apperance. Some think its a good way to spend , while others think there are other better options. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, an enormous number of

people

Use synonyms

are spending their savings on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to satisfy themselves about their appearance. some think

that is

Linking Words

worth it,

while

Linking Words

others stand against

this

Linking Words

opinion by seeing there are better choices to put the cash on. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views by giving examples and providing reasons plus give my perspective at

last

Linking Words

. On the one hand, there are two main reasons behind the

first

Use synonyms

assumption and why they think it is worth the

money

Use synonyms

Linking Words

First

Use synonyms

, they get an amazing feeling from shopping and the process when they walk around stores and

also

Linking Words

the same feeling about haircuts it gives them a break from the stresses and responsibilities that they go through in real life.

For instance

Linking Words

, when you purchase a new product and take the time to look at it and use it for the

first

Use synonyms

moment, you experience an incredible feeling.

Moreover

Linking Words

, individuals always have

this

Linking Words

desire to try new stuff. Like, a new version of the iPhone or some trendy things.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

have a significant concern about appearance they want to be fashionable and dress well.

For example

Linking Words

, males and females these days spend a lot of time getting ready before they go out and always ask their partner how they look. so,

this

Linking Words

stems from a particular motive.

On the other hand

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who think that consumer goods are a waste of

money

Use synonyms

have reasons for their idea.

First

Use synonyms

and foremost, consumer stuff is considered as not valuable things and they believe there are better ways to spend cash. To illustrate that, perches assets are better and hold value even though sometimes it can be an investment which is more beneficial for

people

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, spending

money

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is easier than earning it so, when you spend your

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

you will feel powerful but it is just for a short time and you will suffer after that. Despite

this

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good feeling, we must take good care of our financial side. In my opinion, I understand that good feeling about spending

money

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on that stuff.

However

Linking Words

, the important thing is what is the value we get from these products it is nothing! so we should spend our

money

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in the right way

as well as

Linking Words

we must prepare for the future and build solid assets for our goods.

Lastly

Linking Words

, our value is not how we look or what lifestyle we have it is our minds, our thoughts and definitely what we can provide to our society.

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coherence

Ensure logical progression of ideas. Sometimes transitions between points can be clearer to guide the reader.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

422 words

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Many people spend a lot of money on clothes , haircuts , beauty products to enhance their apperance. Some think its a good way to spend , while others think there are other better options. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Your neighbours have recently written to you to complain about the noise from your house/ flat. Write a letter to your neighbours. In your letter •explain the reasons for the noise •apologise •describe what action you will take

In some places old age is valued,while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both view and give your opinion.

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but cife can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in city. How can govemments make urban life better for everyone?