IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for people to take risks both in their personal and professional lives. Do you think that advantages of taking taking risks overweigh disadvantages?

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It is often said that taking
risks
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 in both personal and professional
life
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 is necessary for success.
While
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 risk-taking can lead to significant rewards, it
also
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 involves serious potential drawbacks. In my opinion,
although
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 taking
risks
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 can open up new opportunities, the disadvantages often outweigh the advantages, particularly when the
risks
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 are not carefully considered. In professional
life
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, many individuals take
risks
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 to climb the career ladder or meet their employer's expectations.
However
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,
this
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 can sometimes lead to unethical
behavior
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behaviour
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 or personal sacrifices.
For instance
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, employees may prioritize their
job
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jobs
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 over family, resulting in strained relationships and emotional distance from loved ones. In more severe cases, some may engage in unethical practices
such
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 as bribery or corruption in order to gain promotions or
favor
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favour
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 with management. These choices may offer short-term success but can ultimately damage both their reputation and career. In personal
life
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, people
also
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 take
risks
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,
such
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 as moving to a new city, starting a business, or ending a relationship.
While
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 these actions can lead to personal growth and greater happiness, they can
also
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 result in financial instability, emotional stress, or regret.
For example
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, someone who quits a stable job to follow their passion may find it difficult to earn a steady income, especially if they do not have a solid backup plan. That said, it is true that some degree of risk-taking is necessary for progress. Many successful people have achieved their goals by stepping outside their comfort zones.
Nevertheless
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, not all
risks
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 are equal. Thoughtless or desperate decisions can bring long-term consequences that outweigh the possible benefits. In conclusion,
while
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 taking
risks
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 can sometimes lead to success and personal development, the disadvantages often outweigh the advantages, especially when
risks
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 are taken without careful consideration. A balanced approach, where
risks
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 are evaluated and planned for, is far more beneficial in both personal and professional
life
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.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the advantages of taking risks to provide a more balanced view, even if you ultimately disagree with them. This can strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly link your ideas with appropriate transition phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, which is essential for coherence.
task achievement
You present a nuanced view of risk-taking, highlighting both potential disadvantages and the necessity of risks for progress, which demonstrates critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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