Some parents allow their children to play on electronic devices such as computers and smartphones as they think it is important for the learning of technological skills. Other parents prohibit their children from using these electronic devices. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some cases, parents permit their
children
to play on gadgets
such
as laptops or smartphones, because they believe that they play a vital role in developing their technological abilities.
On the contrary
, others strictly restrict their kids from utilizing them in any given context. Whilst giving young kids exposure to technology can help equip them with
skills
that can become handy in the future, I strongly believe that the mental issues and impacts on the social life of
children
, that derive from using them, are both very detrimental consequences that justify
such
restrictions. Advocates for propagating toddlers to use our modern-day innovations might argue that
this
will develop, improve and even enlarge their knowledge regarding certain digital applications as they will be able to familiarise themselves with the different functions of
such
platforms. The majority of applications nowadays have been designed to be user-friendly for different demographics, including
children
.
Therefore
, in the majority of cases,
children
will be able to teach themselves different
skills
, which they sometimes might do without even knowing.
For instance
,
children
might find themselves learning about how to play Chess or watching videos about current affairs, which will help with developing their critical thinking
skills
alongside their abilities to analyse various arguments.
This
is why it is unsurprising that parents, who might recognise
such
vast advantages, will persistently encourage their
children
to do so as
this
will equip
children
with
skills
which will help them in their future prospects
such
as at schools, university, or even in a work environment!
However
, I would argue that a strict limit should be put into place by the elderly in their respective families as social media platforms accessed by digital applications, have been proven to exacerbate the mental health of the youth.
This
is already done by some family members by limiting the
time
children
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
on their mobile phones through a 'Screen
Time
' option on certain phones. It is hard to deny that social networks, which can be accessed easily through mobile phones whilst infants play games, enable
children
to compare themselves to famous influencers or online celebrities of a similar age because they tend to be really active on
such
platforms if they have a large online audience.
As a consequence
, if
children
are exposed to
such
information,
this
will lower their self-esteem
as well as
their confidence, especially if the
time
they spend online is long.
Secondly
, studies have proven that there is a direct correlation between the period spent staring at a screen and an increase in social exclusion. The internet drastically decreases the ability of
children
to spend
time
outside with their peers, encouraging
therefore
less physical interactions with the outside world.
Consequently
,
this
not only helps spread growing resentment of
children
spending excessive
time
on the web from parents but
also
negatively impacts their ability to create, experience
as well as
enjoy new and picturesque memories outside of the internet. In conclusion, certain adults might believe that not setting a rule to the quantity of
time
that their
children
spend connected can improve their digital awareness.
By contrast
, I strongly disagree with
this
perception despite the argued benefit, since
this
has long-term and large-scale impacts on the mental state of
children
as well as
their ability to interact in person with the outside world.
Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on

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task achievement
While your ideas are clear and well supported, including even more specific examples can add robustness to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your language is precise and your argument is easy to follow. However, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
You've logically structured your points, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are well-developed and supported by relevant reasoning.

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