Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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With more people comes more traffic;
as a result
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, going to work timely in the morning is a real issue for those who live in the outskirts. To solve
this
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problem, some argue to build apartments over city parks and gardens that are nearer to workplaces
while
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others disagree, including me.
This
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essay will discuss both views in detail and
then
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explain why I think
this
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is a bad idea. Those who are in favour of
this
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idea find that workers can reach the office quicker
while
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saving transportation costs. To illustrate, someone travelling from West London to the centre has to pay and travel twice as much as someone who already resides there.
Instead
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, having the option to already live around the place of work should help to not only cut time and save money but to
also
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improve congestion. So making rooms in the middle of the city for the commuters can be beneficial for them.
However
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, others gravely disagree and argue to safeguard the natural environment. They argue that the greens are necessary to provide fresh air and oxygen in a polluted metropolitan area.
For example
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, the trees in London parks are responsible for converting about 65% of the carbon dioxide released by cars.
This
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means that if there were no parks at all,
then
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the city would face heavier pollution that directly affects the health of the population.
This
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is why many feel that natural fertilisers
such
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as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
should be protected as opposed to being destroyed for making new residences.
To conclude
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,
although
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there are numerous benefits for employees to live near their workplaces
due to
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the aforementioned discussion, public gardens should not be harmed because of it. I believe that natural fertilisers should be respected
as well as
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protected since they immensely help to improve the air for humans.

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Form and structure
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Variance in Expression
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Structure
Your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure, making your arguments easy to follow.
Intro/Conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively framing your discussion.
Use of Examples
You effectively used specific examples to support your main points, enriching your argument.
Task Response
Your discussion provides a complete response to the task, covering both views and explicitly stating your own opinion.
Clarity & Comprehensiveness
Ideas are presented clearly and are comprehensive, contributing to a persuasive argument.
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