IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The movement of people from the countryside into the cities is happening in many parts of the world, resulting in the problems, especially in cities. ?What are the causes of this movement? How can it be reversed Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that
people
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's
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
perspective
to live
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on living
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 in the cities
instead
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 of living in the countryside have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed throughout the years.
This
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 essay will
dicuss
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discuss
 the causes and the reasons behind
movement
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the movement
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.
To begin
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 with, there are many negative causes of moving to a
city
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.
In other words
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, living in a
city
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 might cause a huge traffic
in
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on
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 the roads and may increase the prices of renting.
In addition
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, there might a competition in the jobs.
For example
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, if there were an enormous number of
people
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 who moved from the countryside to the big cities there
will
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would
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 be a high demand
on
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for
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the
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apply
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critical jobs from
the
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apply
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big companies and institutions. In terms of the reasons behind
this
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 movement, seeking
for
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apply
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high salary
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high-salary
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 jobs is a crucial thing for
the
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apply
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most
of
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apply
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people
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 these days. It is
also
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 possible to say that a lot of
people
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 are working on improving themselves to get
a
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apply
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good positions in big corporates that are usually located in the cities.
Moreover
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, the opportunities to expand
people
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's income are much more easy
while
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 living in a
city
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.
For instance
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, if someone wants to invest in the
realestates
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estate
, it is more beneficial to invest in the capital
city
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 than
countryside
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the countryside
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. In conclusion, there are different reasons that made the families decide to live in the town in the
last
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 few years. It is
also
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 true that
this
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 movement causes some problems
to
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for
show examples
 the townfolks.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve clarity by providing distinct paragraphs for causes and potential solutions.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the problems cities face due to rural to urban migration, as it directly addresses the prompt.
positive
The introduction clearly states the topic to be discussed, setting a clear direction for the essay.
positive
The essay attempts to provide examples to support the points made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Economic opportunities
  • Job prospects
  • Education facilities
  • Healthcare services
  • Infrastructure development
  • Social dynamics
  • Cultural melting pot
  • Isolation
  • Agricultural challenges
  • Rural revitalization
  • Sustainable practices
  • Employment opportunities
  • Metropolitan areas
  • Natural disasters
  • Policy initiatives
  • Community engagement
  • Living standards
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