The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. (ex)

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The two maps
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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the changes which have taken place in the Grange
park
Use synonyms
since 1920.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
park
Use synonyms
has developed with the construction of different kinds of facilities,
whereas
Linking Words
the number of
place
Change to a plural noun
places
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for flowers has decreased. Moving to a more detailed analysis, there used to be
the
Correct article usage
a
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fountain in the middle of the
park
Use synonyms
, but it has been replaced by
large
Correct article usage
a large
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rose garden surrounding
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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seats.
Stage
Add an article
The stage
A stage
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for musicians, which was located in the north of the
park
Use synonyms
in 1920, has been knocked down to make way for new the amphitheatre for concerts. With regard to the right side of the
park
Use synonyms
, entertainment facilities have been built in the area where was used to be
pond
Add an article
a pond
show examples
for water plants in 1920.
In addition
Linking Words
to
this
Linking Words
, to the southeast, the glasshouse has turned into
new
Correct article usage
a new
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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instrict beauty of nature near the entrance of
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
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. A final change is that seats along the edge of the
park
Use synonyms
have been removed

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grammar
Make sure to use the correct form of verbs. For example, in your first sentence, 'illustrates' should be 'illustrate' to match 'maps'.
grammar
Revise your use of articles (e.g., 'the amphitheatre' should be 'an amphitheatre').
task achievement
Provide more specific comparisons between the park in 1920 and today to enhance your task achievement.
content
You effectively described the major changes in the park, focusing on significant developments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
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