IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the chages in ownerships of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework un households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the chages in ownerships of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework un households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given charts give information about the percentage of
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 with a washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, both of those charts show information of the
last
Linking Words
 one hundred years.
In addition
Linking Words
, households had been increasing in their percentage through the years but,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 had been decreasing. In the case of households, the refrigerator had an incredible
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 of 100% because it started with a 0% in 1920 but in 2019 all the houses had a refrigerator. The vacuum cleaner had an increase between 1920 to 2019 of a 70%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because in the past only a 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 had a vacuum cleaner.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the washing machine started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
40% and only increased a 35% because
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2019 only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
75% of
people
Use synonyms
 had a washing machine.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
household
Correct article usage
a household
show examples
 decreased
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 60
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. By 1920,
people
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 50
hours
Use synonyms
 working at home stuff but
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 decreased by 1960 because in that year
people
Use synonyms
 had only 20
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 had been falling until 2019 with only 10
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, hours, week, housework, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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