IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows where migrants to Australia come from, by region in 1987 and 1997.

The chart below shows where migrants to Australia come from, by region in 1987 and 1997.
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The graph provides information about the migrants to Australia in 1987 and 1997 in terms of 6 classifications namely Oceania,
Europe
Use synonyms
, Middle East Africa, North East
Asia
Use synonyms
, Rest of
Asia
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 and North\ South
America
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 three categories
such
Linking Words
 as, Oceania, Middle East Africa and North East
Asia
Use synonyms
 gradually increased over the measured period.
While
Linking Words
,
Europe
Use synonyms
,
Rest
Correct article usage
the Rest
show examples
 of
Asia
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 and North\ South
America
Use synonyms
 slowly declined.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Europe
Use synonyms
 was the highest point in both years. The number of migrants to Australia. Europa and
Rest
Correct article usage
the Rest
show examples
 of
Asia
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 showed a much bigger figure with 68 million and 53 million compared to other categories in 1987.in 1997 the figure for them declined to 52 and 26 respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Europe
Use synonyms
 was the highest figure among regions in1997 with 52.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of people
move
Wrong verb form
are moving
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 to Australia.
North East
Add a hyphen
North-East
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Asia
Use synonyms
 and North\ South
America
Use synonyms
 were smaller for the remaining categories in 1987 with 12 and 30. These declined and increased to 10 and 48in 1997. The number of migrants from Oceania and Middle East
Asia
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 experienced a rise from 33 and 30 to 42 and 40 in 1997.North\
south
Capitalize word
South
show examples
America
Use synonyms
 was the lowest classification during the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words europe, asia, north\, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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