IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience.

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Due to
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development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of technology and mass innovation, some
people
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 argue that
people
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 have too many
options
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. I tend to agree with
this
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 opinion.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
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 to the past, there are many types of
food
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 and
clothes
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 in
people
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's daily lives. In the supermarket,
people
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 can buy fresh
food
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 or pre-made frozen
food
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. It might be difficult to decide what to buy and what to eat.
Therefore
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,
people
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 might buy more
food
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 than they need.
As a result
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,
people
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 might consume more
food
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, which can lead to potential diseases
such
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 as obesity, diabetes, or even heart
diseases
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disease
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. Meanwhile,
people
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also
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 have more
clothes
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 than they can buy in the store. Fast fashion brands update their new
clothes
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 quite frequently in order to attract more customers.
However
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, too many
clothes
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options
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 can result in overconsumerism. As many
people
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 buy more
clothes
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 than they actually need. Once a certain design is outdated,
people
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 tend to buy new
clothes
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. Those
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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 will produce enormous amounts of waste and negatively affect the environment.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 not only offer more
food
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 and
clothes
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options
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 more
options
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 for their dating experience. Nowadays,
people
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 use their
smartphone
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smartphones
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 to facilitate their daily tasks
such
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 as finding a partner and starting a romantic relationship.
People
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 can use various dating apps to communicate remotely with other
people
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.
However
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, many
people
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 find
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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difficult to settle
a
Change preposition
on a
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serious relationship as there are many
options
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 they can choose
.
Change preposition
from.
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Moreover
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, many
people
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 wonder if they are a better person online they haven't met even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 are in a relationship. In summary, I believe
people
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 benefit from various
options
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, but
also
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 experience difficulty in selection and avoiding waste.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Expand on the introduction and conclusion to strengthen the overall structure of the essay. Consider summarizing the main points in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Clarify some points with more detailed explanations or examples, particularly regarding the impact of too many choices on mental health or decision-making.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and enhance readability by improving sentence structure in some areas.
Task Achievement
You have presented clear arguments regarding both consumer choices and their impact on health and the environment.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing multiple aspects of having too many choices.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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