Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

There is an argument if global
sports
occasions like the Olympics can not only pave the platform of diplomacy between different governments, but
also
they could unify all the countrymen to achieve a similar target. I strongly believe
this
notion and in
this
essay, I will shed light on my reasons. First of all, major events like the football World Cup have positive impacts on the relationship between different nations, since they can collect people from around the world .
In other words
, individuals who have similar tastes and skills regardless of their nationalities and religions come together to compete and create new records.
For instance
, athletes from various countries who have conflicts with each other even participate in different
sports
rivalries.To illustrate more, Iran and US wrestlers competed with each other in the recent Olympic games which were held in Paris.
Therefore
such
big competitions could decrease political tensions and pave the way for diplomacy.
Furthermore
, international
sports
matches could promote national pride in a nation. Indeed, all of us witnessed happiness and cheers from the crowd when our national soccer team won the World Cup. In these memorable seconds, they forget all economic challenges or political issues, just come together, sing patriotic songs and share their enjoyment. So definitely these moments can elevate society's mood and increase their sense of patriotism. In a nutshell, global
sports
contests can not only improve international relationships between different nations and help them to exchange different cultures
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
could increase the quality of life of people in a country.
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conclusion
Your essay is well-developed, but the conclusion could be slightly more detailed. When summarizing the main points, try to reiterate your arguments more explicitly. This will help in reinforcing your stand and making the conclusion more comprehensive.
clarification
Although your ideas are clear, ensure that all points are expanded with sufficient details. For example, provide additional examples or rationale to make each argument stronger. This will enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
language
Be cautious with minor grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing. For instance, 'in this essay, I will shed light on my reasons' could be improved to 'in this essay, I will elaborate on my reasons.' Improving language precision will help in delivering your message more effectively.
introduction
Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic, providing a solid foundation for your essay.
structure
The body paragraphs are well-structured, each presenting a distinct point that supports the main argument. This enhances the readability and logical flow of your essay.
examples
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the example of Iranian and US wrestlers competing, which effectively illustrates your point about sports easing international tensions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international sporting events
  • global community
  • political tensions
  • platform for diplomacy
  • patriotic emotions
  • positive and controlled environment
  • economic cooperation
  • mutual benefits
  • cultural exchange
  • greater understanding and appreciation
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