Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions #point

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is an argument if global

sports

occasions like the Olympics can not only pave the platform of diplomacy between different governments, but

also

they could unify all the countrymen to achieve a similar target. I strongly believe

this

notion and in

this

essay, I will shed light on my reasons. First of all, major events like the football World Cup have positive impacts on the relationship between different nations, since they can collect people from around the world .

In other words

, individuals who have similar tastes and skills regardless of their nationalities and religions come together to compete and create new records.

For instance

, athletes from various countries who have conflicts with each other even participate in different

sports

rivalries.To illustrate more, Iran and US wrestlers competed with each other in the recent Olympic games which were held in Paris.

Therefore

such

big competitions could decrease political tensions and pave the way for diplomacy.

Furthermore

, international

sports

matches could promote national pride in a nation. Indeed, all of us witnessed happiness and cheers from the crowd when our national soccer team won the World Cup. In these memorable seconds, they forget all economic challenges or political issues, just come together, sing patriotic songs and share their enjoyment. So definitely these moments can elevate society's mood and increase their sense of patriotism. In a nutshell, global

sports

contests can not only improve international relationships between different nations and help them to exchange different cultures

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

could increase the quality of life of people in a country.

Submitted by zohmoz93 on Mon Aug 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

conclusion

Your essay is well-developed, but the conclusion could be slightly more detailed. When summarizing the main points, try to reiterate your arguments more explicitly. This will help in reinforcing your stand and making the conclusion more comprehensive.

clarification

Although your ideas are clear, ensure that all points are expanded with sufficient details. For example, provide additional examples or rationale to make each argument stronger. This will enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.

language

Be cautious with minor grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing. For instance, 'in this essay, I will shed light on my reasons' could be improved to 'in this essay, I will elaborate on my reasons.' Improving language precision will help in delivering your message more effectively.

introduction

Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic, providing a solid foundation for your essay.

structure

The body paragraphs are well-structured, each presenting a distinct point that supports the main argument. This enhances the readability and logical flow of your essay.

examples

You used relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the example of Iranian and US wrestlers competing, which effectively illustrates your point about sports easing international tensions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

international sporting events
global community
political tensions
platform for diplomacy
patriotic emotions
positive and controlled environment
economic cooperation
mutual benefits
cultural exchange
greater understanding and appreciation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Include a brief description of your business •Explain what you would like to have on the website •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.
Hello, my dear friend. I hope this letter find you good.
<4
band
Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?
Nowadays,camers play curitiul role in protacting people and provide them with save environment. they can use it in different places such as home and work. However,it can be used in bad way to spy on people.
7
band
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has change because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Technology plays a vital role in maintaining the relationship with communities. Individuals are now dependent on smart devices and social media to enhance relationships. I believe that positive developments are noticeable.
7
band
Despite the availability of many translation softwares, it is still beneficial to learn a language. Agree or disagree?
With the accessibility to various translation software at this point of technological development in our society, learning a language might be set aside as a time-wasting job to get started with, unlike how highly respected it was years ago. People tend to rely on translation applications instead of spending effort and time actually studying the language, using multiple excuses to avoid taking part in linguistic classes or even being too ignorant to enhance those skills on their own. No matter how advanced technology gets, learning a language still could be advantageous for us in different fields.
7.5
band
Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Immigrating to other countries in pursuit of happiness and prosperity is the main feature of modernity. Given that the language of the new country may be different from the country of origin, some plausible social and personal problems may be aroused accordingly. I hold the view that regardless of the benefits offered by the new society, immigrants might face numerous problems, which will be examined here.

Fully explain your ideas

You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Include a brief description of your business •Explain what you would like to have on the website •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has change because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Despite the availability of many translation softwares, it is still beneficial to learn a language. Agree or disagree?

Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?