IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say newspapers are the best source of information but others say that the Internet is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate over how the community can be conscious of the information.
While
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 some saying that paper are the best way for newsreaders,
with
Change preposition
apply
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some
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
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that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 is
optimal
Add an article
the optimal
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 way. In spite of the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 paper
bring
Change the verb form
brings
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 more dependable information, I believe that
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 is reasonably the best option. On the one hand, the Internet is the best option to check reporters , since it has-necessitate contemporary facts.
Moreover
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, it can be personalized for the readers, by accessing social sites
according to
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 their own preferences.
In addition
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, If something bad happens, it will spread immediately across the networks.
However
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 it is convenient and immediate, and it is
also
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 an affordable option to stay informed, as it charges no emolument. To give an instance, someone interested in parliamentary proceedings can selectively choose these cases and read them.
On the other hand
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, the newspaper provides a number of advantages, some prefer the periodical
instead
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due to
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 the fact that must be sold with honesty and trustworthiness. Every article goes through a number of checking processes, Before being sold, a product must pass the scrutiny of numerous agents and journalists.
For instance
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, there were some fake statements about the new rules and regulations circulating worldwide networks. Many companies related to the government and reporters checked all sources and released verified narrations, which cleared up all misinterpretations to the community.
Thus
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, some communities are in favour of newspapers to get clearly defined narratives. To summarize what has been stated so far, even if a paper reports to inform society of reliable and true facts, I will strongly oppose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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this
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 using the network,
such
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 as it gives me inexpensive access.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. Try to directly state the topic and what you will discuss in the essay. Avoid phrases like 'some saying' and use 'some people say' instead.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your points are clearly linked. Use more cohesive devices (like 'however', 'furthermore', etc.) to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your arguments with more detailed explanations and examples to fully illustrate your points. This will strengthen your main ideas and relevance of your examples.
content
You present both sides of the argument, which is a good approach in a discussion essay. This shows you understand the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion reiterates your main opinion clearly, which is essential for making your stance known.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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