In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In some regions,
such
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as some
asia
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Asian
Asia
countries, like Japan,
China
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and China
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,
children
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are often taught that they can achieve any goal as long as they devote enough hard work. In my opinion,
this
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can
transfers
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transfer
show examples
positive views and
benefits
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benefit
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their development.
However
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, it may
has
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have
show examples
also
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some downsides,
such
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as losing their happiness in life and the
oppotunities
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opportunities
finding
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to find
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their real interest. On the one hand, learning a working hard
altitude
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attitude
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can build a positive view in
children
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's
mind
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minds
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. In many situations,
children
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will set some
goals
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during their childhood,
such
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as being
a
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an
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artist when growing up,
being
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and being
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a scientist in future.
However
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, they do not understand how to achieve those
goals
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. In these moments, we should tell them if they can keep their
goals
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and pay enough attention and work, they might reach their dreams. During
these period
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this period
these periods
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, when
children
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try to take real
actions
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action
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on their goal, I believe
their
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they
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can fully understand what they need to suffer during the process,
where
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which
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can foster their
reciliance
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resilience
and improve their mental health.
Therefore
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, we should teach
children
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working
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to work
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hard because
this
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can help them achieve their
goal
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goals
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and build a strong mindset for themselves.
However
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, if relying only on hard
working
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work
show examples
,
children
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might lose their happiness and strike the
emthusiasm
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enthusiasm
enthusiast
to find real interest.
Hard working
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Hard-working
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is tough, especially for
children
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and youth.
It is clear that
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enjoying the
happyness
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happiness
is essential for
children
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.
However
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, the tough feeling can significantly strick their
emthusiasm
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enthusiasm
during their
children
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.
Moreover
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, if the
goals
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or tasks chosen by
children
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are not suitable for them, they
would
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will
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lose their motivation. The worst thing is that they cannot find the real interest
Correct pronoun usage
that belong
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belong
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belongs
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to them.
Therefore
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, we should guide
children
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what
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on what
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they should do and how to adjust
facing
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to facing
show examples
with
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apply
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difficulties, not only teaching them hard
working
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work
show examples
. In conclusion, teaching
children
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working
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to work
show examples
hard altitude can actually help them build
a
Correct article usage
the
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right way towards their
goal
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goals
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, we should guide them
how
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on how
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to handle the difficulties
during
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of
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their
children
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.

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task response
Consider revising the introduction to clearly outline the advantages and disadvantages right from the start, which can help set a clearer framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more connecting phrases or transition words between ideas, as this would enhance coherence.
task response
Provide more specific examples or case studies to support your main points, especially regarding the consequences of hard work on children’s happiness and motivation.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for small grammatical errors and clarity, such as "altitude" instead of "attitude", and "emthusiasm" instead of "enthusiasm".
task response
You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.
task response
Your ideas on resilience and mental health are insightful and relevant to the discussion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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