IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing peple of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

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It is often argued that
Music
Use synonyms
 is better essential point of gatherning individuals
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 various
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and ages
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time,
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
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views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will illustrate my own opinion. I strongly believe that
music
Use synonyms
 is a life meaning.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Music
Use synonyms
 is
consedering
Correct your spelling
considering
wildely
Correct your spelling
widely
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 definition it is one of
Arts
Correct article usage
the Arts
show examples
 sorts, A way to talk about cases and
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
issus
Correct your spelling
issues
 and love expressions, The low
music
Use synonyms
 gives
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
lisitner
Correct your spelling
listener
listeners
 good frequencies.
For example
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, In therapy sessions sometimes they seek help
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 calm
music
Use synonyms
 to let the patient
reaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
reach
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 to highest levels of treatment.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 other words,
Music
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 an important
roll
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
 in the community,
For instance
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, in
festvels
Correct your spelling
festivals
turned
Wrong verb form
turn
show examples
 on the playlist to break the
freez
Correct your spelling
freeze
 between the invitees, In galleries play
calm
Correct article usage
a calm
show examples
 symphonic it gives a
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 place and no disturbance,
also
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 in the shops let the
custmers
Correct your spelling
customers
customer
 stay long period to shop more.
In addition
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,
might
Verb problem
apply
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any person express his
imotions
Correct your spelling
emotions
motions
 with songs. and changing the whole mood
while
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 you before two minutes were craying or
griefing
Correct your spelling
grieving
show examples
.
To sum up
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, the
music
Use synonyms
 is for all ages and generations even for kids who learning
other language
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
.
moreover
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that
music
Use synonyms
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 people explore more about any kind of culture. and
extanding
Correct your spelling
extending
expanding
 their knowledge enough.

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task achievement
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your main argument. This helps readers understand your position early in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied and complex sentence structures where possible to enhance the clarity of your ideas and make your writing more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors as they can distract from your message and lower your overall score.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or experiences to support your points, making your argument stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
You've captured the essence of the topic and provided a personal opinion which reflects engagement with the subject matter.
coherence and cohesion
Some good ideas and points about how music impacts different aspects of life and brings people together.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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