IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outwiegh the disadvantages?

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Some professional people advocate that we should let elementary
school
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students
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 start to learn a foreign
language
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. There are some benefits that are more important than drawbacks. On the one hand, people believe that studying a foreign
language
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 in primary
school
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 can have some advantages. First of all, if
students
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 start to learn early, they can easily remember the words, sentences, and structures. In
this
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 phase, they have a strong memory ability, so teaching them during
this
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 time is an efficient method.
Second,
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students
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 usually acquire enormous knowledge when they are elementary
school
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students
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 because they will not be affected by other academic subjects,
such
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 as science or math.
Finally
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,
students
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 will not have any pressure to learn a foreign
language
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 since they do not have an exam in
this
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 subject.
Therefore
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, primary
school
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 is the best time to teach
students
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.
On the other hand
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, some supporters believe that learning in secondary
school
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 can improve
students
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'
language
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 ability significantly because they are stressed with tests, and they may put a lot of effort into them to perform well.
However
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, I consider that
this
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 way may make
students
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 lose their passion for learning a
language
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.
For example
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, numerous
students
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 in Taiwan used to love to speak different countries' languages when they were kids. After the entrance test of high
school
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 decided to consider
students
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' foreign
language
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 skills, most
students
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 gave up their interest since they felt stressed.
As a result
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, they stopped speaking and improving it anymore.
Hence
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, I contend that studying in junior high
school
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 may affect
students
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' willingness to learn. In conclusion, primary
school
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 is the best time to acquire a foreign
language
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,
while
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 secondary
school
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 will seriously influence
students
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' learning interests.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and elaboration on your points to strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, make sure they clearly summarize your main argument. This will help reinforce your position more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure and flows logically from one point to the next.
task achievement
You present a sound argument regarding the advantages of learning a foreign language in primary school.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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